Most leadership struggles aren’t a skills gap, they’re an autopilot problem. If you’ve ever wondered why smart, driven people still get stuck in the same reactions, the same team dynamics, and the same stress patterns, this conversation gives you a clear place to look: inward.
We sit down with Dr. Kevin Mays, leadership coach, founder of Mays Leadership, and host of the Leadership Upgrade Podcast, to unpack what actually shapes a leader over decades. Kevin traces his story from Flint, Michigan, watching the fallout of massive corporate decisions, to a defining moment on the side of the road near Carmel, California with a broken motorcycle and almost nothing left. That experience becomes a practical leadership lesson about choice, humility, and what changes when we stop insisting “I’m fine” and start letting support in.
From executive coaching to culture change, we dig into why leaders often misdiagnose the problem as “lack of accountability” or “no urgency”, when the deeper issue is the leader’s internal operating system: the beliefs and neurologically ingrained patterns that drive behavior under pressure. We explore birth order roles, why your greatest strength can become your kryptonite, and how upgrading your leadership is more like continual sharpening than a one-and-done transformation.
If you want better results, a healthier team culture, and a leadership style that holds up when things don’t go your way, this is your roadmap. Subscribe, share this with a leader who’s ready to grow, and leave a review with the pattern you’re working to rewrite.
Lead Yourself First: The High Achiever's Guide to Upgrade Your Leadership is available on Amazon!
You can find the Lead Yourself First Playbook at upgradeyourleadership.com
Reach out to Dr Mays at his official website: maysleadership.com
Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it.
We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you.
Start at modernleadership.us/lead
--
This video was not sponsored, but may contain affiliate links. If you choose to use them we will get a small commission. Thank you for supporting the channel!
Footage licensed through StoryBlocks.
► Fair Use: Any third-party content used complies with fair use and is transformative in nature with added meaning and commentary for educational purposes.
0:00 The Hidden Narratives Driving Your Leadership
0:48 Lessons from a City in Decline
2:46 Mastering the Internal World
5:37 The Cost of Rejecting Help
10:34 How Birth Order Shapes Your Leadership
19:27 Upgrading Your Internal Operating System
