Lead Yourself First: The Secret to Coaching Success

The Real Coaching Trap

Speaker 1 0:00

If you've ever wondered , like man , how do I find more clients ? What should I post ? What can I say to get people to actually sign up to join me ? To take that next step .

Speaker 1 0:09

We're diving into what real coaches focus on to grow . That a lot of new coaches don't really understand and they actually miss . And the reason why is because when we get into coaching , we think that that automatically means we have to become like an entrepreneur or a marketing specialist . And what we have found is it's not about implementing the newest marketing strategy , it's about learning how to think about things differently and deeper . So welcome to Modern Leadership Coaching . We help coaches not only develop the confidence and skills they need to make a huge impact in the world , but get them to the point where they are fully booked and they have a new problem , which is how do I hire new people on my team and , by the way , we got you covered there too , because we have really powerful teammates here on the channel that can help you not only grow your business , but get you to a point where you're doing only the things you love to do , which , for me , is coaching .

Speaker 2 0:59

All right , so let's talk about the real trap . So this is confusing our identities .

Speaker 1 1:06

Yeah .

Speaker 2 1:06

So can you talk a little bit about that , like what that really means to confuse our identities ?

Speaker 1 1:12

Yeah , when we get on social media or when we get into , like , building our business , for some reason what we do is we tend to confuse the identity of who we really are . Who are you ? You're a coach , but for some reason , we think now we have to become a marketer . We think about , like , what are all the marketing ways that we can lean into this and we miss the most important thing , and that is that we're not marketers , we're coaches , and when we use our skill of coaching on a deeper level , we will attract people who want a coach Anybody ever gone viral and then all of a sudden , you're either trying to keep up with that or like the people that you actually have on your newsfeed are not the people for you to serve , and it actually takes your time away from doing the things that you want to do .

Speaker 1 1:56

I've had it happen plenty of times with our clients and then we realized that , like , if you will show up as a marketer on social media to entertain and to do whatever it is , whatever hat you have on , you're not going to be attracting people who want to coach . You're going to be attracting people who want to be entertained . And when you lean into your identity as a coach , the person that you are . You're there to make an impact . You have a very specific way that you do that . You go deeper , you have conversations . Then we can actually figure out . How do I do that in the confines of social media , in the confines of meeting people one-on-one or whatever that process looks like for you . But you don't do it as a marketer , you do it as a coach . Now we have a quote here . This quote is you're not a coach because you post like one , you're a coach because you lead like one .

Speaker 2 2:39

Okay , so what actually shifted when you started thinking like a real coach and also kind of like define what a real coach is ?

Speaker 1 2:49

When I started to think like a coach . I'm going to give you a couple different examples of like what actually came up for me . But I started to approach things with my own strength zone in mind , right , and so instead of thinking about like something on the outside , like getting getting told that I need to be do something or following somebody else's script or doing this kind of stuff , I leaned in instead of going out . So a lot of people I find do that is they look outside of themselves for the answers , when the answers are always on the inside . But then we go outside and we try to look for all those answers and sometimes we start implementing those answers and a lot of times they don't work and then it makes it for some reason . We take that and we actually make it mean something bad about us . And it's just . That was never supposed to be a part of us . It was a lesson that we had to learn because it's not the right way to do it . It has been ingrained in my system and this is what we teach in our certification right . So it's not something you do , it's something that you become , become that person , and you just do it automatically . You don't ask how you do it right .

Speaker 1 3:47

Second one is leading yourself first . Leading yourself first . So , as a coach , one of the things that I highly like I push it a lot . I mean , if you're through our certification , the entire first month is about leading yourself . It's about getting your health in alignment , getting your family in alignment , getting your business in your career , whatever it is you're doing , like getting yourself to feel like you are crushing it , you're on fire , you're taking action , because those are the best people to be able to help inspire other people to do that too . So when you lead yourself first , you have incredible content that you could share . Because you're coaching yourself , you are proof that your product works because you're using it right and it's like this funny thing is like it's the best .

Speaker 1 4:23

Marketing is just sharing coaching . That's not marketing , that's coaching . And you coaching and leading yourself really helps create a lot of power in people , because they're like wow , that's powerful , that they were able to reframe that or lean into that or learn that lesson , and then take that and move forward , and that also puts plants in them a certain amount of demand right . When you're doing these things , we teach this inside of the Coach Accelerator , which is what's called creating demand . It's a little bit different than marketing . Marketing is like you're shouting at people at least , that's what I think of it as Like . Creating demand is like you're pulling people into you because of what you're talking about , how you're explaining it , how you're sharing and breadcrumbing it . They're like I need more of this . It's a little different than shouting , right ? Shouting can work for people , by the way , and I want to say that , like , if marketing is working for you , please keep doing it . If it's not , keep watching this video . Okay , because that's really what it's all about . Right , because if you're finding something that's working , I want you to lean into it , but if you don't , it's time to try a different strategy , right ?

Speaker 1 5:28

And the third one is presence over performance . Your presence as a coach , as a human , connecting to the other person , finding out what they're struggling with , not believing the stories and perspectives they're telling themselves as to why they can't get it , and helping them achieve it . That is powerful . That will sell any day of the week . But if you're thinking that your job is to perform , you're thinking your job is to get a million views on your reels . You're thinking your job is to , like , really connect with every single person on the planet . You're going to start to try and perform rather than use your presence , which is what you've , like learned to do as a coach , is to give people the gift of your presence . That also generally doesn't happen in a post . That generally happens in a conversation , whether it's a DM , a Zoom call , a phone call . It's like a way of you communicating to someone and getting them to see that you're giving them the time and space and the energy . That's where the power is .

Speaker 1 6:25

So , thinking about how can I go and use my presence as a coach over my performance , if you go back and you look at some of my stuff , early on , it was me trying to perform and then wondering why nobody's showing up and , to be honest , like , if you look at my social media now , you'll see it doesn't look like I have a lot of engagement .

Speaker 1 6:41

But I got to tell you like , if you take a look inside of our programs , inside of the certification or the Coach Accelerator and the people's lives who are being changed , I feel like we're doing really amazing . And it has nothing to do with how many likes or views I get or how many hearts I get on on some of the stuff that I put out there , because we're making real powerful change on the inside right , and so it's not about that outside . It's about the presence and how you can really connect with people on a deeper level , and I feel like that's what coaches do better than everything . But then they don't resort to that . When they think about , like , getting people to get in the program , being able to serve people , being able to , you know , help , transform them forever , they jump back into . Let me send a message or something like that , right , which is like I know it probably might feel like the less scary thing to do , but like that's also the least connecting thing to do .

Speaker 2 7:25

Yeah , and I think that I've noticed this in our programs that when we talk about this stuff , I think there's this pressure that is released from the coaches . Like I can see it physically and I can , I can tell that they were just waiting for permission , in a sense , to to do that , to like do something different that not everybody is willing to do , because , like you said , like it may be scary to put yourself out on social media , but it's also a lot easier than actually going out and like just making that like personal connection , yep . So like what are some of like the red flags that come up that tell you that you're kind of like in that wrong headspace ?

Speaker 1 8:04

Yeah . So I'm going to give you some of these symptoms . If any of them hit you and you're like , oh my gosh , like that's with me , I wish it'd be okay with that , because all of these are symptoms that I've personally gone through . But they also were an opportunity for me to do something different . And when I forced it and I kept trying to do these over and over and over again , that didn't work . But jumping on with a coach and , by the way , we will leave you a link inside of the show notes for you to grab a free spot on what we call a clarity call it could be that we talk to you and we find that we could actually help you through this . It could be that we don't trust me . I got a lot of coaches because we actually coach coaches and teach them how to coach that could actually be able to help you . We want you to like come into the to a call to actually get the help that you need so you can get unstuck , all right . But here's some of these ways , all right . Number one is you're thinking about your next viral video that you're going to create . So you're like what can I create ? What could I do ? What could I say that would get more people to like this post ? That is the wrong approach . All right , I'm just going to say , like you're approaching this in terms of like being an entertainer , you're going to show up a little bit different right ? So if you're constantly thinking about , okay , what's the next thing that I can do to get a viral video , and you're a coach , we really need to think .

Speaker 1 9:11

The second is you're waiting for somebody to give you your next move . So you're waiting for a mentor to tell you what to do next , to take the next step . How do you respond to this ? Like we have to as coaches , we have to be more self-sustaining and , yes , getting some feedback from other people , but being able to not like resort and think that somebody else or some other thing has to tell us what to do . We can get out there and we can do and create some really powerful things because we have coaching right . We can ask great questions , can do and create some really powerful things because we have coaching right . We can ask great questions .

Speaker 1 9:37

Next one is you're basing whether people are getting your content , like learning and understanding , with how many likes you get . We cannot be tied to those things , especially when it has to do with the specific things that we're talking about when it comes to coaching , right ? Next one is you tweak your offer or your niche every two weeks , waiting for the engagement to really hit . You're like you know what , if I talk to these people this week , it's really going to hit . Or if I change up my offer to this or I change the price in this , or I do this , and you're all focused on the 80% activities , those things that feel like it's moving the business forward , but it's really not , and you're not focused on the things that really move the business forward , right ? So if you're that type of person where you're changing niches and offers every two weeks two weeks definitely jump on a call with us or find somebody to be able to coach you through that right ? And the last one is is you don't feel that you're qualified unless you're constantly getting feedback from social media . If you're waiting to wake up in the morning and say , okay , am I going to have a good day today , let's go see what my post or my video or my reel did yesterday or how many responses I got back in the text messages . Hate to break it to you , but you are tying your worth to social media . And , guys , I want you to think about this Do you know why social media was created ?

Speaker 1 10:38

It was not created so you could sell your coaching business . That was just something that people added in because they're like , hey , if people are having a conversation , let me interrupt them in their conversation and see if I can sell this thing . And so we're in this space where it's kind of like interruption marketing , right . Where it's like I want to interrupt what you're doing and talk to you about how to become a better coach , right . And so here's the thing like , like , when you think about relying on something like that to tell you your worth , you actually don't come out and share what people really need to hear , and sharing it from a perspective of like , hey , like I was going through this , or I was helping a coach through this , or I was doing this , like , and being able to guide them through that process using your coaching skills , using what you were able to uncover , that's powerful . That's kind of like a social way of like being able to share some of the things that you've been able to go through and how you help other people do that too . And so , when you think about these things . If any of those come up , this is definitely an opportunity for you to get coached .

Speaker 1 11:28

The truth is is everybody is going to be processing each one of these things differently .

Speaker 1 11:33

There's something different that holds us back as humans , and we all know this as coaches , because we're our best clients , right , and we don't know what that is until we actually have a conversation .

Speaker 1 11:44

So I'm not going to get you to believe that I'm going to have a YouTube video here that's going to be able to help get to the root of what's actually holding you back .

Speaker 1 11:50

That's why we offer free calls to be able to jump on and to help you , because we all have different pre-programming that's happening in our brains . It doesn't take one YouTube video . It doesn't take , like , one answer , it doesn't take one session or anything like that . It's the reprogramming of our brain and that doesn't just mean me or Teresa , by the way Like yes , we are here to help support you , but if you have another coach you're connected to , if you know somebody who's like a powerful coach that you can connect with , that will help you get to the root of it and understands how to actually do that , please lean into that , friends , because this is the power of being able to have a coach , getting to the root of it and then using your coaching power to attract the right people , to pull them towards you , to create that level of demand , instead of feeling like you have to put your marketing hat off . Bye everybody .