Danielle's Journey: Master the Art of Balancing Career and Family Life

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0:42 Hey everybody, welcome back to the show. I have a very awesome guest here today. Her name is Danielle Sweet. She's a really powerful coach. She's actually inside of our Master Coach Training Program and she is here to get some personal coaching from me. Before we do that, Danielle, could you just like tell the listeners a little bit about you, maybe what you do in your coaching business, and then we'll jump right into a coaching session. Yes, hi everyone. Like Mark said, I'm Danielle. I am a certified life and performance coach along with being a registered nurse full time. I do one-on-one coaching mostly, but I also work with those inside of the healthcare field and do more group coaching sessions around dealing with the emotional side of healthcare and just dealing with more of the personalities that come with patient care and what that all involves.

1:40 But that is and what that all involves. But that is, yeah, mostly what I've gotten running so far and that's really what has brought me a lot of full circle moments in what I do with nursing and working with others through life coaching. Yep, yep, I love that. I love it so much. And we have a lot of nurses who are actually also life coaches. Right, it's crazy, what do you look at? But? But, um, I know we were kind of talking about offline right before we got started, but, um, how powerful it is to not only have the skill of life coaching but also being able to marry it up with, like your profession that you're doing, right as well as you know, starting and creating your own business, and this kind of person that you become because you've been able to develop that.

2:22 I know we're kind of talking offline, but me personally, I would love to. If I get to the point, or when I get to the point, that I'm hospitalized, I'm like I want to have a nurse who also knows how to life coach, because it's really powerful when that person can connect and do the things that you know how to do. So I just want to say hats off for doing what you do. It is a very difficult thing, but also, when I think about, like, how you're changing people's lives because you know both, it just it brings a smile to my face. So thank you for doing that. Okay, so let's jump in, all right. So I'd love to hear if there's something that you're going through, something that can help you with when it comes to coaching, and it could be anything. It could be in your business, your personal life, your relationships. We could do it all here on Modern Leadership.

3:03 So what's coming up for you right now? So currently, well, we've moved, my family has moved a couple hours from where we were before, but I am still commuting back once a week and doing my home health patients and I'm just having a hard time. I've kind of offered my services and to do this for my bosses. It's a very small company and healthcare workers are in high demand and low numbers in some places, and so I'm trying to do just do my best to help crowd as long as possible and I'm having a hard time finding a cutoff date as to when I want to be done traveling back and forth and settle into my new home home.

3:57 OK, so I heard a couple of different things there. Let's see which one of these paths you want to go down. So when it comes to you saying I'm having a hard time with offering my services, let's explore that a little bit. What do you? What do you mean by that? oh, I mean, I I'm having a hard time as to when I'm gonna stop offering my service or stop. Uh, basically I'm working with her until I tell her that I'm, you know, done. I've she's known I'm moved for several months before we even moved, um, and so I'm just trying to help her out. She's also pregnant and due soon, so there's a lot of behind the scenes thing that um, yeah, so, so let's go down that path, okay, um, I guess it's the same path both, both two different paths, but actually is the same path.

4:46 So when we're thinking about, like, um, you making a decision right, you're like I don't know, like when is the best time to like make this decision, so that I'm not doing this transition anymore? So I want you to take me back to the last time that you were kind of thinking about this and you were contemplating which decision to make. Can you think about, like the last time that you were actually having that Well, which one should I do? Kind of conversation in your brain? I guess it was probably last week. Okay, so tell me a little bit about it. What was going through your mind at that time?

5:27 going through your mind at that time. Um well, my co-worker had mentioned, um, I had not made it to the last staff meeting, uh, due to the loop, um, and she had said that, uh, our boss had made the comment that I had not given a cutoff date yet. So she was unsure of everyone's patient load after the next month, and previously I had told her I would for sure be here through July but could possibly do the rest of the summer, depending on what she got for coverage as far as another nurse to work. Okay, okay.

6:08 So let's go down that path real quick, because I want you to show I want to show you like what is actually coming up for you in this situation, but then also like what you're kind of manifesting or creating because of the just even the words that your coworker said about your boss, okay. So I want you to think about this Like we think about the facts, okay, and we're going to take you through, obviously, the push method, which is something we teach inside of the certification. Sometimes I'll do that on a coaching session, sometimes not, but I really think it's going to be powerful to take you through this, all right. So when you think about that, you're there's a meeting, right, and your boss and your co-workers are in the meeting, and your boss mentions that you haven't given a cutoff date.

6:48 Um, so she's not really sure of everybody's patient load and what it's going to be like, just like real life kid stuff yes, real life hotlers that's all right. it's all right. This is how we do it. This is how we do it okay. So is how we do it Okay. So your, your um, your boss and um, some of your coworkers were in a meeting, all right, and your boss mentioned that you hadn't given a cutoff date yet. So she's unsure of what everybody's patience to load is going to be like until you actually do Right. So when she said that, like when you were, well, it's kind of like a little deep, but like what's the problem with her making that statement of that you hadn't actually mentioned your cutoff date?

7:31 So we don't know what everybody's patient load is going to be, would you ask what my thought was. What was the problem with that? What's the problem with her actually making a statement about that? I guess because I feel like I had given her somewhat of a cutoff date, dependent on if she could find someone else to work. So I mean, at the latest she would have me until the end of August. So I feel like she has some sort of cutoff date. So what kind of sounds like it's coming up is like I gave her a cutoff date but it is tied to whether or not she can actually find somebody to take over my role. Does that sound about right? Yeah, okay.

8:12 So so when you think about, like um, the, the story basically you're telling yourself is um, I can't come up with a cutoff date until we have somebody that takes over that position. How does that make you feel? Um? frustrated because, although I've given up part of my patient load, it was a very small part and she still has me admitting patients onto my current load with no plan of what she's going to do with them. Okay, okay. When you felt frustrated, what were some of the actions that you took? I vented to my coworkers.

8:52 Okay. What did you tell them? Or her? What is our boss thinking? We currently don't have the nurses to really care for the patient load we have. With her going on maternity leave and me quitting, we don't have the staff now to take care of who we currently have. And now we're admitting even more patients on top of that. So what are some of the things that you didn't do? So when you felt frustrated? Right, so let's go back to the top. So your boss is having a conversation with your other coworkers and they're like, well, she hasn't get a cutoff date yet, so we don't know what everybody else's workload is gonna be.

9:39 And your story was like I can't actually set a cutoff date. I have a temporary cutoff date, but we have to actually have somebody who's able to take over this position right before I can set it. It made you feel frustrated. We talked about some of the actions that you took when you were frustrated. What were some things you didn't do? I didn't ask my boss about it. I didn't tell her my feelings on my new admission list, or ask her what her plan is for my patients. Okay, what are some thoughts that you're having about this situation? Right, so you're like I want to come up with an actual date for me to leave, but your story is related to, but it's tied to whether or not she can find a replacement.

10:27 It doesn't sound like she's in the process of finding a replacement, but you're feeling kind of frustrated because of this whole situation. What are some thoughts that you're having about it? I want out of it. Yeah. But I don't want to leave everyone else in a bind as far as coworkers and patients. How does that one feel when you say that out loud? Try not to cry. Yep. It's okay and you 100% can cry. But here's the thing, like when I know why you got into this profession right and I know that you have a heart for helping people, why you got into this profession right and I know that you have a heart for helping people, and what it feels like, but how am I going to, you know, do the things that's right for me and for my family?

11:13 When I feel like I'm doing other people my coworkers and the people that I said that I was here to support that I'm just leaving them right. And so it's a natural response because now we're in these two really hard places which says, like, do I stand up for myself and then leave the clients, or do I stand up for the clients and leave myself? These are kind of like the decisions that our head tries to trick us into thinking that we need to make right. And when we see that it's kind of like this battle of what should I do, should I do this or should I do that, and it kind of feels like it's all a loss, it's because our head voice is trying to to take over and get us not to do the hard things, which is you've already kind of like, talked about it, having conversations like I don't, I don't know, I didn't, I didn't hear you say having a conversation at home either.

12:07 Right, like, having a conversation with um people at home and having a conversation with you know all these? Because when, when our brain tricks us into thinking that, like, there's one right, best, only way, and that I can't set a cutoff until somebody else is in this position, otherwise I'm going to let somebody down, it won't actually allow us to find a different answer, right? So, when you think about those actions and inactions, in that thought spiral that you're going through, what do you think you're creating in this situation? When you're focusing on the story of like, well, I can't set a cutoff date until someone takes over my position. There's no cutoff date and my boss isn't gonna find someone to take my position until I give her one.

12:51 Yep, yep, what one of the things like when we look at like the stories that we tell ourselves, there's kind of like the surface level story but then there's like the deeper story that's underneath, right, and, and a lot of times those deeper stories kind of like hit on our limiting beliefs. So when we think about a story of like I can't set a cutoff date until she has someone who takes over the position, it's kind of like saying, well, um, I've got to let somebody else take the actions before I could feel okay to kind of like make a decision right. And when we do that, it's kind of like this tug of war, because one of our, our desires as a human is to actually have control. I know it's like a false thing because you guys, you actually don't have control.

13:34 You have control over what you can control, right. But when we kind of like give away that control of like hey, it's in her court, right, it makes us feel powerless and frustrated in all of these words. And then we'll go out and manifest it right, because if you look at the actions you said, some of the actions you didn't take, like you didn't talk to her about it, you didn't have a conversation with her about it. You didn't like talk about maybe how you could help train some other nurses, how, like there's like no of these, these new ideas or opportunities or things that you could do to actually make this happen. It's all focused on this very hard situation that you're coming to a conclusion on.

14:16 So I know that when you go down this path, a lot of times people want to flip over to the hard voice, and I'm going to take you through the hard voice in a second. But before we do that, I want to ask you a couple of questions about what we call our head voice, because I want you to be able to process this a little bit. I know we process it a little bit. I feel like when we get a little emotional, it's because we're actually processing it all right. But I also want you to know that your head, your head, is designed to do this, to kind of keep you safe, because it doesn't want to make the decision, because it thinks there's no matter what there's a wrong decision, but there is a good decision. There's a good decision that will work for Danielle and work for them Right, and we've just got to be able to be willing to tap into that, but not before we understand why we're feeling this way.

15:00 All right, so when we think about this story of like, I can't set a cutoff date until someone else has taken over the position. Like, how do you think? Like, why is your? brain trying to convince you that that's the truth. So they don't. My patients are cut off to you neither. Hey, I don't know what happens if you make a decision. I have to deal with a few tears and some disappointment. Okay, it would be better for home if I wasn't traveling two to four hours once a week and just getting to settle into a new job here.

15:48 Yeah. So what would it, but what would you make a decision do to, and for your patients and for the people that you work with? Well, I don't think most of my patients would care all that much. I mean, they would still have a nurse Some of them I would get some tears and disappointment from. But they would also understand, and my coworkers would have answers about what their patient load would or will entail at some point.

16:29 So what do you think is holding you back from making the decision of when? Can you ask me that again? Yeah, it's okay. I heard a lot of noise in the background and I heard a mom. I said what do you think is actually holding you back from making that decision? Like so, so we went down the push method, right, and we we learned, like one of the stories that you're telling yourself is like I've got to wait until she decides before I can decide, right, I've got to wait for her to get a replacement or her to figure it out before I do. And you're like well, no, it's the opposite way around, right it out before I do. And you're like, well, no, it's the opposite way around, right. But but one of the things that, like I want to get to is a little bit deeper is like what do you think it is that's actually preventing you from making the decision?

17:10 And so I asked you like, when you make that decision, tell me a little bit about what some of the stuff is going to happen. And you told me all these great things that are going to happen, but you didn't tell me the thing that, danielle, that is holding danielle back from actually doing it right, because we try to sugarcoat it and go, well, it's gonna be so great for my family. But I can see the emotion in you. So me as a coach, I'm like no, no, we're not going there yet. We need to get to what is actually getting you to go, but I can't do it because of this. What is that? I think we're gonna go here, but I think it's my dying patient okay, so let's talk about it. What about him? um, he's a very private guy that has, um become quite attached to me as his nurse.

17:59 Um, he confides in me and talks to me more than his wife, his son, anyone he lives with. He has made multiple comments about feeling abandoned, abandoned and specifically on weeks where I I was feeling ill or something happened and I couldn't go and see him due to his cancer status and all that jazz.

18:44 But he's just made that comment a lot and I feel as if if I, if I, if I were to tell him I was done coming to see him, um, that he would give up what he has left and that, um, I also want him to go peacefully and when it's his time and I, I think for his quality sake, it is soon, um, but I also don't want to be the reason that he gives up anytime he has left with his family.

19:43 Yeah, yeah. First off, thank you so much for sharing that. This is what I mean by like I want. I want a nurse like Danielle when I'm having difficulty with life. I'm sure at some point I'm going to have that Right. So so, when we think about a deep, like rooted belief, right, like we can have the stories about, well, I can't set a cutoff date until someone else takes over my position. But when we hit something deep like this, which it goes against some of our core values because I know your core values is just like having to do with, like being connected and helping and doing what you can on your part, right. But when the story we tell ourselves is, if I set up cutoff date, right, that I'm actually abandoning him or I'm abandoning my patients, like that is a very mean and dirty head voice that I'm sure gets you to feel a certain way.

20:42 And when you feel like you're abandoning your patience, you probably take some actions that are in alignment with some of those. Sometimes it even could be that you're working so much that you actually abandoned your family, right? Because sometimes we think like, oh, if I feel like I'm abandoning my patience and I feel this way, then I'm going to overwork with my patience, but what you actually do is you abandon other people in your life. Right, because you actually manifest what you're thinking about. Right, and I know that's not what you want. Right, you're like like I want to be there for him, but I also want to be there for my family and I want to set up some boundaries for myself. Does that sound about right? Yeah, yeah so when we have this deep belief of I'm abandoning my patients, it gets us to have all of these accompanying other thoughts and give those thoughts even more power.

21:32 Right, where it's like I can't make a decision because if I make a decision, that I'm abandoning my, my patients, especially this one right, this one patient which it kind of sounds like you're adding a lot of pressure on yourself in terms of, like you, having to do all of these extra things. Right, because you're a human and you care and you got into this for a reason, right, so your head voice is kind of using that against you. Now I want to find I want to find a little bit different of a spot. Okay, now your head is going to keep doing this, and the reason why is because it wants to keep you safe. It doesn't want you to have to make that decision, it wants to protect you, right, and so it's going to have you thinking about this in multiple different ways and having multiple different stories come up.

22:17 But I also think there's a place over here, I know there's a place over in your heart voice that we could find that will help you not abandon your patience, but also respect your boundaries and your time and your family and respect your coworkers. It's just, we have to get good at being willing to ask those questions and to have those conversations to figure out what that would look like. Now, it always starts with our story, right? So it starts with the interpretation that we make about the outside situation, right? So the situation is that your boss mentioned that she had given a cutoff, that you hadn't given a cutoff date, so she's unsure what everybody's patient load is going to be Now, coming from a place like, let's just say, a place of curiosity, of you being like like I did such a good job there People are connected to me but also like I don't want to leave in a way that actually makes me feel like I abandoned them.

23:16 Instead, I want to leave on the most great positive note possible, while also valuing my own boundaries, okay, so I want you to picture that you're having a conversation with another one of the nurses and she's going through that situation and she comes up to you and she's asking you like what advice do you have? Like I haven't set my cutoff date because I have this patient and I'm going through this situation right now and I don't know whether I should or shouldn't, but I actually haven't had that conversation yet. What kind of advice would you give her? To just ask what would be most beneficial out of two options that work for her.

24:04 Yeah, it's kind of hard to separate yourself sometimes in those situations Right, Very hard. I can hear that you're, you're that you're still there, Right, and? And you came up with actions, right. A lot of people do give actions for advice, but I want you to dig a little deeper. All right, I want you to dig a little deeper because, with the action of, I want to ask what's just like the most beneficial and find out the options that work for her and for the company. There would be a belief, something that you would have to believe. Whether it's that you believe there's an answer out there, you believe there's a way to make this possible, there's something that you're telling yourself that would get you to feel a certain way.

24:47 And when you felt that way, you would feel compelled to have that conversation. But you wouldn't just be having that conversation for lip service. You'd be like we're going to figure it out, but we need to find a story that we can tell ourselves that will fuel us to do that. So when I say that, what comes up for you? I guess I would remind her that her patients will understand that she's doing what's best for her and her family and that you're not abandoning them because there is someone will be taking your place and they are all capable nurses.

25:40 When you say that, Danielle, how does that make you feel? At ease release some tension does that feel great or does that feel like, yeah, I guess that's okay no, it feels great, but if I continue down that thought, yeah, and and I mean we could definitely go down that that thought you said your patients will understand you're doing the best you are for you and your family and that you're not abandoning them because someone will take their place and they're all be capable nurses. That that is using a lot of logic in in it, which logic can sometimes work, right, it's like.

26:21 But if we are, we don't feel the emotion that will get us to take actions that we need to take. We can still continue to reframe it and find a different way, right? So let me give you an example. Right, I'm not saying that this is something you need to think, but this is something that, having worked with lots of clients that I've kind of like have heard in situations like this, all right, and that is like, like, um, something to the effect of I am the leader, and because I am the leader, I will find a way to make sure that my patients are taken care of to the best of our ability, at the same time respecting my boundaries and my family, so that when I leave, I actually leave the place better than when I got there.

27:03 And so when you find a story that's like, this is my greatest opportunity to empower some of the other nurses to find other people to be able to help, to maybe, like I don't know, have weekly Zoom calls with this guy, like when you have like a different like you know what I'm going to do. I feel like I'm like living on purpose. I'm gonna actually not only take this into my hands, make a decision on the cutoff date, but I'm actually gonna do these extra steps, whether it's like go visit him or zoom calls or whatever. Like those are some of the actions that can happen. When you're coming from this place of like, I will find a way to make sure that I live within my core values and it will fuel me to the ends of the world.

27:48 I almost was going to say a cuss word, but YouTube doesn't like that and neither does podcast. But when you're like, I will find a way to make sure that I can succeed in both of these areas, that I take care of my patients on a different level and that when I leave that they're also like man Danielle was the best nurse ever. But also, I'm going to set them up because I'm going to share as much as I can with everybody else and every single one of my patients. I will hand off to someone meaning, oh, let me just talk to you a little bit about this patient. This is what they like, this is what they dislike, and even sharing your connection, your phone number, with them, like you will find ways that are outside of what you're currently thinking right now, but you have to be open to the story.

28:30 That is possible. Does that make sense? Yeah, so so when I say that, um, how does that kind of like feel in your body versus what you had told me a little bit earlier? yeah, that feels uh, invigorating came to mind, but there was another word, um yeah I mean, I like invigorating. So, when you feel invigorated, what are, what are some of the become proactive with connections to pass along patients in a little gift box type of way for both the patient and the next nurse, but also having those having the initial hard conversations To give everyone a heads up and then working through, working through the transition, but having to start the process.

29:46 What are some things you're not doing when you're invigorated? About to swear there um venting with my quarter, okay. Um, about why things are the way they are and instead, instead have the conversation um, I'm not just avoiding work altogether cleaning I know we didn't talk about that, but it sounds like maybe you do sometimes avoid work when you're in the other story.

30:27 Yeah, okay, yeah, I mean it's if. If work is the thing that's kind of like, feels like it's giving you pain, right, we will do something else, buffering right, we'll do something else outside of that, because we don't want to feel that. But what you did today was we kind of like processed it so we can go to a different place, okay, so what are some of the thoughts that you're having? So, so you know, you have the same facts that happen. You, you tell yourself that story of like. Actually, this is the greatest opportunity for me to really show my patients that I care, but also show my family that I care, by stepping up as a leader, because leaders aren't made when everything is handed to them. Leaders are made through difficult situations and they're willing to step up and do what it takes to come out on the other end. I'm going to empower so many people by taking this action myself so that they don't have this, this same thing, that they go down, right, and so you start to feel invigorated.

31:12 You said some of the things you do is you become proactive. You start creating that connection to pass along patients. You said in a little gift box kind of way, I like that. You have the initial hard conversations. You're working through the transition. You start the process. You stop venting with your coworkers talking about why things are the way they are. Instead, you actually have the conversation with your boss that you need to have and you're not avoiding work any longer. So what are some thoughts that you're having in that moment about yourself, about the actions you're taking and how you're showing up for your patients and for you and for your family? Good, I feel determined, more focused, I guess Empowered to start the process.

31:59 What do you think you're creating or manifesting? You're taking those actions. It's a really big picture, but let's go manifesting a transition to being home in this new home and Finding a job where I get to commute and drop my kids off at school and pick them up and Not be living out of my car. Also feel like you're going to be leaving a mark not only on the nurses that you help, but also like the patients that you leave, that they're always going to remember, and they're going to remember you for that, because you took that time out and you did something that most people aren't willing to do, which is slow down, having those conversations and find a way to make this transition be like a huge, awesome thing where they actually feel like you supported them beyond their wildest dreams.

32:49 Right, and whatever that looks like to you is the plan that you can come up with. When you focus on your heart voice instead of your head, right, your head voice is going to get you to not see that there's other opportunities and not have those conversations. Right, it's going to get you to feel stuck, like you don't have control. But when you take control, it doesn't matter what your boss sets or doesn't set. You take control of that and you have those conversations and you're controlling your part of the equation. And I gotta say that when you do that, you show up even better for your clients, because if you feel like you're abandoning your clients, you're probably not having conversations about this with them, right? You're probably like trying to get your hands off, trying to spend less time with them, when you're probably not having conversations about this with them, right, you're probably like trying to get your hands off, trying to spend less time with them.

33:32 When you're stepping into this, you actually are showing up the way that you want to with your patients to a level where it's like they're going to remember this forever. Right? And when you do that and you look at these two options, like, which option do you want to show up as yeah, that one. Yeah, the invigorated, empowered. I could feel it. I could feel it is now. Now, before we end this, is it OK if I give you, if I jump into mentoring a little bit to about like how to have this conversation? Yeah. OK. So a lot of people I coach a lot of people about having difficult conversations, whether it's in relationships or with bosses and stuff like this.

34:14 And one of the things that um has worked a lot for me and then for the people that I coach is to go into the conversation, talking about a little bit about the part that you're owning, the part of you in this situation, and asking them other people how best they or maybe some ideas or how best they think that you can show up. So let me give an example, okay. So you go into your boss and you're like I've really been thinking about this a lot. My patients are very important to me, you and my coworkers are very important to me and and my coworkers are very important to me, and I think I just haven't been making this decision because the story I'm telling myself is I'm abandoning you and I'm letting you down.

34:55 I do not want to feel that way. I want to feel like I'm actually making a difference here, that I'm connecting with you guys, that I'm not adding more to your plate and I'm actually helping my clients. But the story I'm telling myself is I'm not, and so I'd love it if I can get some feedback from you. How can we make this transition not only seamless but actually make it so that, when I leave, like things are so much smoother, things are like really working well, but we all I also have the, the, the ability of like, whether it's like feeling like the patients are taken care of, or checking in with them, like I don't know what that's going to look like, but I really need to tackle this before we actually figure out what that date is, and I'd love it if you have some ideas for me, right?

35:42 And so a conversation like that can go a long way, because you're talking about you, right. You're talking about. This is how I'm feeling, this is what I'm experiencing, this is the story that I'm telling myself, and I want to show up as best as I can for these patients, and I also want to show up as best as I can for you and for the people who work here. That's why this has really been on my heart and I'd like to have a conversation to see if you have any ideas. And if you have ideas, you can be like. Here's some of my ideas, but I'd love to hear some feedback from you too. Now it's a collaboration. She's like oh, so Danielle isn't just trying to peace out. She really is like who she says she is and she really does value what she does here and also value what she does for her patients.

36:22 So what kind of boss would be upset at that? Right now, you could have some bosses that are upset at that. You know you're gonna find people from all over that are like not the greatest leaders, but when you set it up that way like it gives you the greatest chance to actually have that deeper conversation, to be able to figure it out. Does that make sense? And you can even have this conversation with your patients if you choose where you're like. I just want to let you know that I've been thinking about this a lot because you're very important to me. You're not just somebody that I come in and you don't help out, but you're literally important to me enough that I've been thinking about this and how I can help make this transition even better. But also like I want to get some ideas from you, right?

37:03 I don't want to feel like I'm leaving or abandoning, because all of these other things that I have going on at home I still need to attend to, but I also don't want to leave you and leave you feeling abandoned. So I'd love to like I have some ideas on like what I can do to make this experience like as best as we can for you. But I'd love to hear if you have some ideas. And there's your kids, but even leading into that will give you the ability of like actually connecting with them and get getting your clients to go wow, she really does care, she really does care about me. This isn't just a job for her, but it also will help you feel like even more powerful by sharing that with them and then helping them like kind of like talk to you about it, to come up with your ideas and conclusions that you guys decide on.

37:51 How does that feel? Yeah, yeah, that's a good frame, a good way to start it and frame frame the conversation 100%. Yeah, that keeps me stuck a lot too. Yep, 100%. That's why I wanted to help you with it. So, so let's end with this. Okay, yep, 100. That's why I wanted to help you with this. So so let's end with this, okay, um, I know we talked a little bit about head versus heart and how your head is like there to keep you stuck right to, to make it like we, we. It makes us point fingers outside two more minutes. I promise I talk a lot, buddy, I talk a lot, um, but being able to, to, to tap into, like your, your head, voice will point outside and say that the outside has to change before we can change.

38:33 But your hard voice is finding that voice inside that says no, we can change right now, and I can be the person who is the change agent and by doing that, it'll not only help make an impact for me, but also help make an impact for everybody else who's watching me. Do this. Right, and literally, that's what you're doing, like. You're here on YouTube, on the podcast, sharing this, and I guarantee you I'm going to get a ton of people reaching out to me going man, danielle is an amazing human being, right, because you're willing to tackle this and not just to sweep it under the rug. You're like I'm going to fight for this and I'm going to find a way to actually be able to excel at both, to be able to do stuff for me and for my family, while also making sure that this transition is as seamless as possible, knowing that I can only control what I can control, but by doing that, it's going to give us the greatest opportunity to succeed in all of it.

39:18 So I just want to say hats off to you for doing it, thank you for being willing to lean in, and I do want to hear from the session what was the biggest takeaway from the session and, based off of it, what is something you can commit to doing, some type of action or some type of story that you can tell yourself to make sure that you can stay in this energy, cause it's very easy for your head voice to get take back over, right. So what? What when it comes to like your biggest takeaway from the call? What do you think it is? Hi, how my dirty brain, how making me say that I'm abandoning everyone um and just making that that switch um alone just feels a lot, a lot lighter.

40:02 What was the other part of the question um? It was what are you committed to either doing or saying or thinking about moving forward? So it's kind of like a commitment that you're making based off of this session. These are the steps or an action that you're going to take. I'm going to have the conversation with my boss about what, um, what would work best for all of us, um, in how you, how you framed it, um. And then I'm going to take that little leader affirmation that you made and, um, tweak that and repeat it.

40:46 I love it, I love it. That was a good one. Oh, thanks, thanks. You knew that I was going to hit you up with that too, if you were like, oh, I'm just going to talk about the actions that I'm going to take, because you have to be fueled by that story, right? So that's what I call a life coach. Thank you for doing that, coach. But, yeah, definitely, focusing on that story will get you to take those actions. But, like you said, personalizing it for you and for in your voice and in a way where you're able to read that, especially during the times that are hard, where it's like it's going to be your last day coming up or you're going to have to make a decision, or you're going to have to have that conversation, making sure that you pre-program your brain with that hard voice will get you to show up the way that you want to.

41:27 All right, all right, danielle. Thank you very much Everybody. I really hope that this session was helpful for you. This is how our brain works. Our brain tries to get very mean and tricky and cause us to step into our head voice which keeps us stuck, which keeps us rinsing and repeating, thinking that we're out of alignment with our core values when, in reality, when we can program it with a really powerful question that will get us into our heart voice, it literally will make us unstoppable and the outside never has to change. Thank you, danielle, for being here, for being willing to lean in, and thank you everybody for listening. Definitely reach out. If you enjoy these type of episodes. Definitely reach out to Danielle. I know we didn't actually talk about like how they could reach out to you, so where are you on social media?

42:11 People want to connect with you, danielle. I am Danielle Sweet, or Elevated RN Coaching Facebook and I am I think it's Mrs Danielle Sweet on Instagram. Awesome, awesome. So definitely hit her up If you guys have any feedback from the session. You just want to thank her for being on the show, definitely check her out and then, of course, continue to lean in, continue to watch these sessions and see how some of these things that we're guiding people through actually apply to you, because I find that so many times when I hear other people coached, it actually helps coach me through that situation too. So thank you, danielle, for that. You guys have an incredible week and we'll see you guys on the next episode.

42:51 Bye, everybody.