The Secret To Being a Great Coach | Truth #4

0:00 So many coaches, especially new ones, feel like they have to get it right to be effective. What do you think is the problem with that? That belief is the fastest way to disconnect from your client your gift and your growth. Coaching isn't about delivering the perfect question, the perfect answer or the perfect feedback. It's about being fully present with your client so that you can help them explore what is really going on. And perfectionism that actually kills your presence, because in that moment you're actually stuck in your head and not focused on the human that is in front of you. The real truth is, coaches get better by coaching, not by being flawless.

0:41 So many times I've personally learned how to coach better by actually doing it wrong. I mean, many of the things that I help people with are things that I used to struggle with as well, and if you're constantly wanting to be perfect, you're never going to be doing the thing you need to do most, which is just coaching, and that's why today's truth is perfection can make you a worse coach. Growth comes from showing up real, not perfect. So in this truth, let's remember that you don't need to be perfect, you need to be present. That's where the power really is. What does perfection look like in coaching? How does it sneak in? Perfection could look like what's the best question that I can ask right now? Or I wonder what they're going to think if I ask them this. Instead of you focusing on your client and what they're saying, what their body language is trying to tell you, you're focused and stuck in your head thinking about all the ways that you need to show up perfectly.

1:30 One of the things that our clients ask us all the time is how do I know what's the right, best question to ask? And I always tell them. Your client will tell you, but you have to be present with them and listen to them fully until they're finished. Don't be thinking about what the next question is going to be, the next path that you're going to take them down, or the next skill you're going to use. Wait for them to be finished and be fully present with them and you will know when you get to the end. All else fails. You just get curious and ask an additional question to find out more information. So if you find yourself in your head spinning over and over and over while there's a client in front of you, you really need to take a step back and remember that it's not about you, it's about them. Now, this is why our coaching certification actually creates a coaching lab where you actually do this live, because this isn't one of those skills that's like really easy to learn or that it's going to just start happening automatically.

2:21 You need to be able to practice it and get some feedback back and forth to see when you accidentally go into this, because the way our brain is wired it's going to unconsciously get us to do that. We just have to be able to recognize it and to do that it takes practice and feedback from others. So today was truth number four, and if you haven't seen truth number three, definitely go back and watch it. It's all about why noticing, not knowing, is the key to coaching, and today's truth ties right into that. But it also leads us into what we're unpacking next, because even when you drop the need to be perfect, there's another trap that can sneak in and that's trying to prove yourself, trying to perform your way into confidence and trying to make the next session about how well you're doing.

3:02 And in truth number five, we're going to break that right open and why. Real coaching isn't about you. It's about this.