May 5, 2025

Why Your Clients Keep Falling Back Into Old Behaviors

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Ever watched a client grasp exactly why their thinking patterns are problematic, only to see them slide right back into those same behaviors? This powerful episode tackles that universal coaching challenge head-on, revealing why willpower and awareness alone aren't enough to create lasting transformation.

We explore how change resistance isn't actually a problem to fix but a doorway to deeper growth. Your clients' familiar patterns feel emotionally safe, even when logically they know these patterns no longer serve them. Their nervous systems require time to harmonize with their evolving mindset. The breakthrough comes when we recognize that sustainable change happens through identity shift, not just cognitive reframing.

Rather than asking clients what they want to think differently, we suggest a revolutionary approach: asking who they're choosing to become. This subtle but profound shift connects behavior change to identity rather than willpower. As coaches, our most powerful role isn't pushing clients toward predetermined outcomes but partnering with their natural growth process. When clients connect their changes to their emerging sense of self, resistance diminishes and transformation accelerates.

Whether you're a seasoned coach or just beginning your coaching journey, this episode provides actionable strategies for helping clients move beyond understanding into embodiment. We invite you to book a free strategy session with us to discover your unique coaching style and learn how to create the conditions for your clients' authentic transformation. Click the link in our description to schedule your call today and take your coaching practice to the next level.

Want a personalized strategy session for free? Book a free call with Marc or Teresa: https://www.modernleadership.us/apply

Whether you're going through a challenge, or working on a powerful goal, join Marc or Teresa for a 20-minute strategy session and leave the call with a plan to make it happen!


Chapters

00:00 - Client Behavior Change Challenge

00:56 - Coach's Role in Client Transformation

01:46 - Invitation for Coaching Development

Transcript
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00:00:00.360 --> 00:00:05.586
Have you ever worked with a client who knows their old thinking is not serving them, but they keep slipping back into their old behaviors?

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There's a powerful lesson why that happens and an even more powerful way to move them forward.

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So welcome back to Modern Leadership.

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This is where we answer questions from our community and our coaching programs to help you grow the confidence and skills that you need to make more impact and income.

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Let's jump right into today's question from one of our Coach Accelerator members, Poonam.

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Hi, I'm Dr Poonam Ishanpara and I'm their performance coach.

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I help high-achieving women who look like they have it all together on the outside finally feel like they have it all up together on the inside too, by letting go of the weight of perfectionism, self-doubt and never feeling enough.

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Mark and Teresa, I would love your insight on working with clients who logically understand why their thinking isn't helping them, but continue to go back into their old behaviors.

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Would love your insights.

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So this is something even the most self-aware clients experience.

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What if this isn't actually a problem to fix, but a doorway into deeper growth?

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This really isn't about a lack of willpower or awareness.

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It's about emotional safety and identity.

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Familiar patterns often feel comfortable, even when they no longer serve us.

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Their nervous system might just need time to catch up with their mindset.

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Here's an empowering reframe.

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Our role as coaches is to guide clients into alignment, not to force a shift, but to help them feel safe becoming who they wanna be.

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The real shift actually happens when clients connect change to who they're becoming, not just the way that they're thinking.

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So try this instead Instead of asking what do you want to think, ask who are you choosing to become, because coaching isn't about pushing.

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It's about partnering with their growth process.

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Now, if you're somebody who's ready to dive deeper into coaching and help clients create a change that sticks, we definitely would love to help you.

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Book a free strategy session with us so we can help you when it comes to guiding you to help your clients get even more results without having to push.

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The truth is is every coach has a unique style, and we'd love to be able to help you find yours.

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So click the link in the description and book a free call today.

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If you're ready to help your clients grow into the best versions of themselves, the person that they were meant to be, this is the next best step.