Sept. 15, 2025
Why You Feel Behind (And What It’s Really Telling You) | Truth #8
Send us a text Do you ever feel like you’re falling behind as a coach? In this podcast, we unpack why those feelings arise and what they’re really trying to tell you. Spoiler: You’re not behind—you’re just not seeing the whole picture. Learn how comparison can distort your perspective and why true growth in coaching is slow, messy, and deeply personal. We’ll share insights into why comparing yourself to others’ “highlight reels” can lead to frustration and self-doubt, and why mastering the c...
Do you ever feel like you’re falling behind as a coach? In this podcast, we unpack why those feelings arise and what they’re really trying to tell you. Spoiler: You’re not behind—you’re just not seeing the whole picture. Learn how comparison can distort your perspective and why true growth in coaching is slow, messy, and deeply personal.
We’ll share insights into why comparing yourself to others’ “highlight reels” can lead to frustration and self-doubt, and why mastering the craft of coaching is less about racing to the top and more about trusting your own journey. Hear a powerful story about how even the most successful people often face struggles behind the scenes, and discover actionable steps to focus on your own healthy growth as a coach.
This episode is your reminder that coaching isn’t a race. It’s about honing your skills, stepping out of your comfort zone, and learning from every challenge. Let us know in the comments—when have you felt behind, and how did you overcome it? We’d love to hear your story!
If you’re ready to stop chasing someone else’s version of success and start building trust in your own coaching abilities, make sure to subscribe and stay tuned for Truth 9, where we’ll explore what really creates mastery in coaching. It’s not what you think! See you in the next podcast.
Interested in learning more about our Coaching Certification program?
Visit us at: https://www.modernleadership.us/certification
Want a personalized strategy session for free? Book a free call with Marc or Teresa: https://www.modernleadership.us/apply
Whether you're looking to master your ability to coach, you're going through a challenge, or working on a powerful goal, join Marc or Teresa for a 20-minute strategy session and leave the call with a plan to make it happen!
Chapters
00:00 - You're Not Behind, Just Missing Context
03:09 - Mastery Through Identity, Not Tools
05:56 - Be, Do, Have: The Identity Shift
08:31 - Stop Winging It, Commit to Mastery
10:42 - Shifting from Trying to Becoming
Transcript
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So many coaches feel like they're behind, like they should be somehow further along.
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Where do you think that comes from?
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I find that it usually comes from comparison, because you're comparing your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel.
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What I mean is I see a lot of coaches who are out there comparing themselves to other people who've been doing this for decades, who've actually have marketing skills, sales tactics and different things that they've been able to learn and develop that they don't even know exist.
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And I think a lot of times that when we have that missing component, we try to fill it in and in this situation, it actually makes us feel worse because we're comparing ourselves to someone else that we don't even know what they've been through.
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So here's the truth Growth is slow and messy.
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It doesn't look the same for everyone, and even the coaches that you think have everything all together don't really have everything together, because most coaches don't even share that stuff that's happening behind the scenes, which is just an in and of itself problem.
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So please don't take what you see from them as truth.
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There's always things that are going on.
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But also, I want you to know this the coaching isn't a race.
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It's a a craft.
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You have to develop it, you have to master it and you most definitely have to work at it.
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That means that this is going to take time, but comparing your journey to someone else's oftentimes doesn't help us.
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That's why today's truth is you're not behind.
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You're just not seeing the whole picture.
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So when did you feel behind and how did you get through that?
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I actually remember the specific moment where this came up for me.
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I was coaching somebody who had a multi-million dollar business.
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They had just gotten a speaking gig, they had just spoke after me and they totally crushed it.
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And I was going out to dinner with them and while we were having a conversation I was like, oh my gosh, this guy's life is falling apart.
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He really needed some coaching.
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He needed some coaching there at the table, but even something after that.
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And it was funny because I had thought about him having everything all taken care of, being on that high level, getting paid a lot of money, but yet I realized that he was actually having things that he was struggling with in his personal life too.
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So that's what really helped me to realize that I actually wasn't behind.
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I just wasn't seeing the whole picture.
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So what does healthy growth actually look like in coaching?
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Where I see this being the most visible is in your actions Like are you getting uncomfortable?
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Are you putting yourself out there?
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Are you not making things mean something about you, and are you learning all the lessons along the way?
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Now, inside of our certification, one of the first things that we always hear people say is that I finally feel like I can trust myself, like I can trust my ability of coaching and asking powerful questions and helping people get to the root of the problem, because we don't just help you become a better coach, we help you stop chasing everybody else's version of success.
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And if that's the shift you need, we'll leave you a link to a clarity call below.
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Now, if you missed truth number seven, we talked about whether you need a certification to coach and how to know if you're ready for the next level.
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In today's truth, we discovered that you're not behind you just don't have the full picture.
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And in truth number nine, we're going to be talking about what really creates mastery when it comes to coaching.
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And a little bit of a spoiler alert, it's not more tools, it's not even more coaching.
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We'll see you soon in truth number nine.
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So a lot of coaches try to collect more tools, more certifications to feel more legitimate.
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What do you think is missing there?
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Tools and certifications are helpful, but they don't actually create mastery.
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Your identity does.
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I've met a lot of coaches who have a full and complete toolbox, but when they show up they really don't trust themselves in the room or trust themselves as a coach.
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And the best coaches in the world lead from who they are, not just what they know.
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Now, when I talk about identity, I don't mean just identity as an image.
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I mean about how grounded, how clear and how connected you are in that session.
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And that's why today's quote is you don't become a master coach from your toolkit.
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You become one through your presence.
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So when did you stop chasing tools and start building identity?
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Early on in my coaching career, I learned this process called be, do, have, and what I noticed is I was kind of doing this in reverse, back when I was trying to lose 100 pounds, trying to get more connected to you and the kids, and it was because I thought that I needed to have something first, when I had the time, had the money, had the energy, then I could do the activities.
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When I did those activities, then I would become somebody different.
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But that's actually completely backwards.
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That's the reason why people need coaches, because first we need to be or become somebody different in the process.
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This is where all that internal growth and really diving into your belief system is important.
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When you have that level of belief, then it'll get you to do the things that you need to do, but actually it happens on autopilot.
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You don't have to think about it because you've already become somebody different.
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And when you do those activities and they come from a high energy state, then you can have all of the results that you want.
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And so for me, I thought that I needed to have more time before I could exercise, and once I exercise, I was going to lose weight and I was just going to be somebody else entirely different.
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Only that was yo-yoing up and down.
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It wasn't until I become somebody different, got coaching, learned the lessons that I needed to that I started to do exercising just as a normal part of my everyday routine.
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Just as a normal part of my everyday routine.
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It was just a part of something that I did, and when I did that for long enough, then I got to have the results that I have today, which is, I lost a hundred pounds and I've now kept it off for 16 years.
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Has it been 16 years?
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Holy shit, Probably.
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And that's what happens when you become somebody different first.
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That's what we focus on as coaches, and I realized that that's what happens when you become somebody different first.
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That's what we focus on as coaches, and I realized that that's what I needed to do, not only when it comes to my health, but when it comes to becoming an LAPD sergeant, when it came to developing, when it came to growing my coaching business, but also when it came to becoming a better father and a better husband, which is always my top priority.
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That's me right, Yep.
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And what does identity coaching actually look like?
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When you already have become something different, when you've become someone different, you actually can come from this place of intuition that you have a different, that you have a bunch of different tools, a bunch of different skills, but based off of who you are, you know which ones to use, which ones to use, which ones to try, and you're willing to adjust along the way.
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You're not second guessing yourself, you're leaning in and doing whatever you can to help, because that is the identity of a master coach.
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You're not making all this mean anything about you.
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Everything is about your client.
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And how can someone actually step into this kind of mastery?
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I found the fastest way is to make sure that you're in an environment where you're continuing to level up along with other people.
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I notice this all the time.
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Whenever we have a certification launch and people get into the program, they're on next level.
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They're getting next level results, not only in their business, but when it comes to leading at work, when it comes to at home, when it comes to their health and fitness, because you're in an environment where people want to grow but also become somebody different in the process, and it doesn't stop.
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As you go throughout the process, you get better and better and better, and you get hungry to keep growing and growing and growing.
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But then I noticed that when some people disconnect from that environment, they wonder why they can't keep up.
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And this is the same thing that happened to me also with the Dad Edge, when I was a part of that program myself, is I noticed that, like when I disconnected, it was very easy to get back into my normal habits.
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And so, in order for you to so, in order to make sure that you keep growing and you keep having this level of mastery making, make sure that you're in that right environment that pushes you to keep growing.
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This is why we put our certification together.
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Now we teach skills in frameworks, which is now we do keep inside.
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We do teach skills in frameworks, but that's just the beginning.
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What we help you really do is become a coach who can use those skills and help transform others.
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What we do is help you use those skills in a way that helps you become the coach that you're, but we actually show you how to become a coach so you can use those tools powerfully and create transformation, not only in your life, but in others too.
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We help make sure we grow your identity, not just your skills, and if that's something you're interested in, definitely reach out and let's have a conversation.
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Now, if you missed truth number eight, definitely go back, especially if you're stuck in comparison or chasing other people's results, because once you stop comparing, then you could start building your coaching identity.
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And that leads to our final truth Truth number 10, where we're wrapping up.
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Where we're wrapping it up into the shift that most coaches never make and why this shift matters more than your business plan or your niche.
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We'll see you in truth number 10.
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How do you think we're doing Good?
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So many coaches spend months, even years, just winging it, trying a little bit, a little bit of this, trying a little bit of this, trying a little bit of this, copping a little bit of that.
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Why do so many people stay stuck there?
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Because we've been taught that coaching is just something that we try.
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But real growth, real confidence does not come from dabbling.
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It comes from deciding that you're all in and then backing that decision with real growth, real feedback and real practice.
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Decision with real growth, real feedback and real practice.
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That's why today's truth is you don't grow by winging it.
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You grow by committing to mastery.
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Now I want to share a few different things.
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Now, when I say mastery, what I don't mean is perfection.
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Mastery means that you're being in the work consistently and intentionally.
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Confidence doesn't come from knowing it all.
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It comes from somebody who's willing to grow on purpose.
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You don't need 10 more books.
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You need a space to practice, to get feedback and become the coach you know that you're capable of becoming.
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This is where the shift happens.
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You move from trying to run.
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You move from trying to build a coaching business to becoming a coach who leads with power and clarity.
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It might seem like a simple shift, but it means everything when it comes to creating real impact in the world.
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Oh sorry.
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What does committing to mastery look like, not just in theory?
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It looks like you showing up to grow on purpose, putting yourself into uncomfortable situations and continuing to level up your skill.
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No matter where you're at, there's always another level and you make sure that you surround yourself with people who think and believe the same as you.
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This means you're putting yourself in rooms where you don't feel like the expert.
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It's about being open to feedback, getting in some extra reps, having your own coach.
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Now, this doesn't mean that you want to try and strive for perfection.
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What it means is that you care enough about your clients that you're willing to continue to elevate and sharpen your skills and then use them to show up for them.
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So what's the cost of not committing and just staying in dabbling mode?
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That's a great question.
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Well, when you're dabbling, you're constantly second guessing everything that you're doing and unfortunately, your client is going to feel that, even if you don't say it out loud.
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Maybe you coach a session and you wonder if it landed or if you really helped.
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You post content online and maybe you're wondering did that even matter?
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Is anybody going to see it?
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Is it going to help them?
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You get off a call and think was that even coaching or was I just giving advice?
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Over time, this dabbling really starts to weigh on you and then you start to convince yourself that maybe you're not good enough and you start to lose momentum and belief.
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That is possible for you as a coach.
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How do you even know when it's time to stop?
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How do you even know when it's time to stop guessing and go all in on your growth?
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You usually already know.
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There's a reason why, if you've been listening to this series and something keeps stirring in you, that's it, that's your moment.
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The shift happens.
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The shift happens when you stop asking am I ready?
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And start asking am I willing to grow, and instead start asking how far am I willing to grow.
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Because you don't get ready first, you grow into that and if you're happening to feel, and if you happen to be feeling, and if you happen to be feeling that pull, it might be time to stop.
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It might be time to stop trying to piece it all together on your own and start building with guidance, feedback and a real foundation.
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That's why we built a certification the way that we did, not as a quick fix or just a tool set, but as a real path to mastery For coaches who are ready to be coached while they learn how to coach as they learn how to coach others.
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Let me say that again For coaches who are ready to coach as they are coaching others, you'll get the reps the real-time feedback.
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You'll get the reps the real-time feedback.
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You'll get the reps the real-time feedback, the clarity and the confidence and the confidence to lead powerfully without having to second guess.
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So if you're done winging it and you're ready to become a coach that people will remember, let's talk.
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Grab a spot on the wait list or book a clarity call with me or Teresa and see if this is the right next step for you.
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Now, if you made it through all these 10 truths, I want to say thank you.
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You're not just someone who wants to coach, you're someone who cares enough to do it well.
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You're someone who cares enough to do it well, and if this series stirred something in you, don't let it pass.
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Maybe it's time to stop trying and start becoming.
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If that's you, we'd be honored to walk on this journey along with you.
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If that's you, we'd.
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