Feb. 16, 2026

Why "I'm Exhausted" Is Rarely the Real Issue for Your Clients

Send a text Ever hear a client say “I’m exhausted” and feel the urge to fix it fast? We’ve been there too. Today we unpack why that phrase is usually a surface signal pointing to deeper beliefs, sneaky scarcity stories, and a quiet fear of saying no. Instead of stacking more tactics, we show how to slow down, listen longer, and guide the conversation three or four layers beneath the complaint—where the real shift happens. We walk through a vivid coaching example: a high-achieving leader, par...

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Send a text

Ever hear a client say “I’m exhausted” and feel the urge to fix it fast? We’ve been there too. Today we unpack why that phrase is usually a surface signal pointing to deeper beliefs, sneaky scarcity stories, and a quiet fear of saying no. Instead of stacking more tactics, we show how to slow down, listen longer, and guide the conversation three or four layers beneath the complaint—where the real shift happens.

We walk through a vivid coaching example: a high-achieving leader, parent, and business builder who kept saying yes to everything out of fear she’d miss her one big chance. The result? Diluted focus, chronic overwhelm, and calendar chaos that no time block could cure. By naming the core belief—there’s never enough—we helped her choose one or two priorities, label the rest “not right now,” and watch the tactics finally work. Her energy returned because her attention stopped leaking into low-impact commitments.

We also explore the mindset side of fatigue. Exhaustion can be physical or mental and still be shaped by meaning. The internal loop “I’m tired and failing” shrinks capacity, while “I’m tired and proud of my effort” restores it. We share the precise questions we use to reach the root: What are you protecting? What fear would action expose? What belief makes no unsafe? Where’s the hidden payoff in staying overwhelmed? These prompts help clients see the mechanism behind the feeling so they can’t unsee it—and that’s where durable change starts.

If you coach, lead, or simply want your energy back, you’ll learn how to replace band-aid advice with high-impact coaching that uncovers beliefs, tightens boundaries, and channels effort into what actually moves the needle. Subscribe, share this with a fellow coach or leader, and leave a review with the question you’d ask first when someone says, “I’m exhausted.”

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https://www.modernleadership.us/mastery



Chapters

00:00 - Why “I’m Exhausted” Isn’t The Problem

00:29 - From Quick Fixes To Root Causes

01:41 - Slowing Down As A Coaching Move

02:45 - Beliefs Beneath Burnout

03:20 - The Yes Trap And Priorities

04:05 - Reframing Exhaustion And Choice

05:15 - Stay Curious, Go Deeper, Create Change

06:00 - Lean In When Clients Feel Overwhelmed

Transcript
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00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:03.359
So we hear clients say that they're exhausted all the time.

00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:07.599
And every time I hear it, I notice that I want to start to slow down.

00:00:07.839 --> 00:00:09.119
So you say slow down.

00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:10.240
Why do you think that is?

00:00:10.560 --> 00:00:13.199
I think it's because I know that there's something deeper than that.

00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:19.280
That what they're telling me is really surface level and we need to get down to the root of what's going on.

00:00:19.600 --> 00:00:20.239
Yeah, 100%.

00:00:20.640 --> 00:00:29.199
A lot of times coaches will just jump in, give them strategies, ask them if they take their pre-workout, give them a book to read or try to get them motivated and not actually get to the root of the problem.

00:00:29.440 --> 00:00:30.800
So we're Mark and Teresa.

00:00:30.879 --> 00:00:33.759
Um we actually run a program called the High Impact Mastery Academy.

00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:38.640
This is where we teach people a coaching philosophy around how to get to the root of what's actually holding people back.

00:00:38.799 --> 00:00:40.240
And that's what we want to talk about today.

00:00:40.320 --> 00:00:45.840
Because when you think about somebody saying that they're exhausted, like usually coaches just jump in and try to quote unquote fix it.

00:00:45.920 --> 00:00:48.000
And that is not what their client needs.

00:00:48.159 --> 00:00:50.640
What they really need is somebody to listen and to slow it down.

00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:52.240
So I'm glad you started off with that.

00:00:52.479 --> 00:00:55.759
So you say that uh something might be happening underneath, right?

00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:59.200
And that's why slowing it down as a coach is the first best move.

00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:01.439
But what do you think it is that's going on underneath?

00:01:01.759 --> 00:01:11.680
It comes from experience because when I was first starting off coaching clients and they would tell me this, whether they're overwhelmed or exhausted, I would try to give them those solutions.

00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:13.680
I would try to help them with time management.

00:01:13.840 --> 00:01:16.239
I would try to get them to do external things.

00:01:16.400 --> 00:01:18.879
But then I was noticing that nothing was really changing.

00:01:19.120 --> 00:01:22.400
They felt even more exhausted and I couldn't figure out why.

00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:28.000
Yeah, there's this um thing that I was taught when it comes to sales and it's the feel-felt-found model.

00:01:28.319 --> 00:01:30.959
It's like, oh, I can see that you feel this way.

00:01:31.120 --> 00:01:33.040
This is how I felt in the past, right?

00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:34.560
And this is what I found, right?

00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:36.000
And I feel like there's times for that.

00:01:36.159 --> 00:01:37.200
We call it mentoring.

00:01:37.359 --> 00:01:40.560
But when somebody comes in with it, I'm exhausted or I'm overwhelmed.

00:01:40.879 --> 00:01:44.400
My job as a coach is to really get to the root, like we said, right?

00:01:44.560 --> 00:01:50.719
Because it always seems like it's pretty obvious, but in reality, it's just you're seeing the leaves of the plant.

00:01:50.799 --> 00:01:53.439
You're not seeing all of the things that are going on underground, right?

00:01:53.599 --> 00:01:56.560
Their belief system, what they're currently focused on, right?

00:01:56.719 --> 00:02:00.400
What maybe challenge they're actually going through that is bleeding over into this other area.

00:02:00.560 --> 00:02:11.520
This is why we call it high impact coaching, because you can change really every area of their life when you impact what's going on in their brain and get them to see that it's more than just feeling exhausted or being overwhelmed.

00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:13.039
There's actually something deeper.

00:02:13.280 --> 00:02:19.120
Oftentimes, this idea of exhaustion or even overwhelm is actually protecting them from something.

00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:26.240
Like there's something coming up that either they feel they're not good enough to do or they're just unsure about themselves.

00:02:26.319 --> 00:02:30.639
And this is kind of like a way of kind of like protecting them from having to do this.

00:02:30.800 --> 00:02:34.879
Now, of course, we can't just blanket say that everybody, this is what they're experiencing.

00:02:34.960 --> 00:02:44.400
But I gotta tell you, from coaching tens of thousands of people, when you initially have the I'm exhausted, you go back and you can see that there's something that's kind of challenging them that they want to hide from.

00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:50.800
And they don't realize it because it's not what their brain is offering them as their quote unquote solution or the problem, as a matter of fact.

00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:56.960
And so by being able to ask some questions and get like three or four levels deep, you will actually find what the thing is.

00:02:57.120 --> 00:02:58.879
So let me give you an example, right?

00:02:59.039 --> 00:03:12.560
Um, so I remember a conversation that I was having with a client where she was saying that she was exhausted and she was just trying to think about like what could I do to um, you know, focus on my self-care, maybe manage my time, maybe do some time blocking.

00:03:12.719 --> 00:03:18.719
And when I jumped in and started asking her some questions, what I realized is there was actually a perspective that was keeping her stuck.

00:03:18.960 --> 00:03:22.240
She was saying yes to everybody who brought something to her.

00:03:22.400 --> 00:03:24.080
She wanted to be the best leader she could be.

00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:27.199
She was growing a coaching business, she was trying to be an amazing mom.

00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:30.719
And so what she was doing is she had this belief that there was never enough.

00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:32.159
She couldn't do enough, right?

00:03:32.319 --> 00:03:36.719
And that if she said no, she would miss out on her one big opportunity in the world.

00:03:36.879 --> 00:03:40.080
And so, what in reality was happening is she's saying yes to everything.

00:03:40.240 --> 00:03:43.520
And we know that when you say yes to everything, you're basically saying no to everything, right?

00:03:43.599 --> 00:03:45.199
You water everything down.

00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:51.199
And when we got to the root of that and she saw that that's what it was going on, now she can actually make some different decisions.

00:03:51.360 --> 00:03:56.240
Now she can decide, hey, I want to be very intentional with where I put my time and my energy.

00:03:56.319 --> 00:03:59.599
And I'm gonna pick one or two things to put that time and energy into.

00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:04.960
And anything else, it's not a no, but it's a not right now because I'm focused on these things that will move the needle.

00:04:05.120 --> 00:04:13.520
And what's amazing is then all of the different tactics around time blocking and figuring out her schedule and her priorities, all that stuff kind of totally flowed.

00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:15.599
The next call, she was like, This is amazing.

00:04:15.680 --> 00:04:17.360
I can't believe like all of these things worked.

00:04:17.439 --> 00:04:20.720
And it's because we focus on that perspective, what was actually holding her back.

00:04:20.959 --> 00:04:26.079
Okay, so I just want to let everybody know that we're not saying that exhaustion is not real, not at all.

00:04:26.319 --> 00:04:29.839
We're just saying that how a client responds to it is what matters.

00:04:30.079 --> 00:04:30.639
100%.

00:04:31.199 --> 00:04:34.879
Um, sometimes there's physical exhaustion, sometimes there's mental exhaustion.

00:04:34.959 --> 00:04:36.079
Um, but that's a real thing.

00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:40.240
You're putting in energy, you're putting in action, you're taking a lot of steps, right?

00:04:40.399 --> 00:04:43.680
And because of that, there is an opportunity for you to feel exhausted.

00:04:43.920 --> 00:04:48.639
But the truth is, is when you're focused on that, you will actually create more exhaustion, right?

00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:51.120
When you're like, oh, I'm just so exhausted.

00:04:51.360 --> 00:04:52.959
Think of how that feels in your body.

00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:56.000
And what it does is it actually creates more of what you don't want.

00:04:56.240 --> 00:05:00.879
But did you know that you can get to the end of the day and say, I feel exhausted and I'm so proud of myself.

00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:05.360
I gave it all that I could and I cannot wait for tomorrow to really bring my A game.

00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:09.759
And so you can take this whole feeling in your body, which is a real thing, right?

00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:13.519
And you can actually make it worse for you or you can make it better, right?

00:05:13.680 --> 00:05:17.759
But the beautiful thing is you get to choose, at least if you believe so, right?

00:05:17.839 --> 00:05:30.399
And that's something that we help our clients do, is they get to choose what's going on in here and how they respond to maybe some of the mean voices that come up, because you don't want to make something that is quote unquote negative even worse.

00:05:30.560 --> 00:05:33.199
Instead, you can reframe it and you can find a different way.

00:05:33.360 --> 00:05:42.160
So here's what I want to make sure that you guys all grab onto, especially if you're in this place where you're coaching or guiding people through difficult conversations and situations like this.

00:05:42.240 --> 00:05:42.560
Okay.

00:05:42.879 --> 00:05:57.199
And that is when you are willing as a coach to stay in it, to ask more questions and to get curious and really to have a framework or a way to be able to guide people through this, that is where you're going to make the most impact with your clients.

00:05:57.360 --> 00:06:02.959
Not putting a band-aid on a broken arm, but actually getting to the root of what's causing them to experience this.

00:06:03.120 --> 00:06:05.920
And when you do, they can never unsee it.

00:06:06.079 --> 00:06:17.680
And from there, you will realize not only how much action they take, but how much less beating themselves up and getting stuck over and over and over again, what we call in a loop, how you're going to be able to remove that from them.

00:06:17.839 --> 00:06:22.160
So just remember when this comes up, this is your opportunity, my friend.

00:06:22.399 --> 00:06:23.759
Opportunity to lean in.

00:06:23.920 --> 00:06:26.959
Don't be afraid of I'm exhausted, I'm overwhelmed.

00:06:27.120 --> 00:06:29.759
It's trying to teach you and them something.

00:06:30.160 --> 00:06:33.279
Just do them a favor, stick around and help them learn it.