Dec. 15, 2025

Why Feeling Like You Don’t Belong Is a Sign You’re Growing as a Coach

Send us a text Ever step into a room and feel like everyone else got the memo you missed? That jolt of discomfort might be the clearest sign you’re exactly where you need to be. We unpack why the spaces that feel too big often fit your next level, and how to turn imposter syndrome into forward motion. We walk through the pivotal mindset shift: belonging doesn’t show up before bravery; it follows it. From masterminds to coaching circles, we share how growth can feel like exposure, why that se...

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Send us a text

Ever step into a room and feel like everyone else got the memo you missed? That jolt of discomfort might be the clearest sign you’re exactly where you need to be. We unpack why the spaces that feel too big often fit your next level, and how to turn imposter syndrome into forward motion.

We walk through the pivotal mindset shift: belonging doesn’t show up before bravery; it follows it. From masterminds to coaching circles, we share how growth can feel like exposure, why that sensation reveals where you’ve been hiding, and how speaking the truth you’re avoiding unlocks momentum. You’ll hear practical ways to stay when you want to leave, including how to participate early, ask sharper questions, and borrow belief from people a few steps ahead. Their stories and steps become your map, shortening the learning curve and replacing comparison with calibration.

Confidence, we argue, is earned through participation, not perfection. That means showing up consistently, contributing before you feel ready, and tracking the small wins you usually ignore. We highlight a simple system for capturing micro-milestones—clearer questions, honest shares, new connections—so your identity updates as your actions stack. When you anchor progress in these daily proofs, the room that once felt intimidating starts to feel like the right fit for the person you’re becoming.

If the space stretches you, don’t bolt. Stay long enough to let courage compound, let community call you forward, and let your results speak louder than doubt. Listen now, subscribe for more conversations that push your edges, and leave a review to share the brave step you’re taking next.

Interested in monthly coaching that helps you elevate how you think, act, and lead?

ELEVATE by Modern Leadership Coaching gives you the structure and support to turn intention into real momentum.

Join a community of people who are choosing to lead themselves, right now:

https://www.modernleadership.us/elevate



Chapters

00:00 - Do I Belong Here

00:20 - Discomfort As A Growth Signal

01:03 - Why We Pull Back

01:17 - Stay To Build Confidence

02:22 - Teasing Next Topic

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:07.519
Have you ever stepped into a room, maybe a mastermind, a group, or even a coaching call, and you thought, I definitely don't belong here.

00:00:07.759 --> 00:00:08.800
You do belong here.

00:00:09.359 --> 00:00:10.800
It feels uncomfortable.

00:00:10.960 --> 00:00:14.800
You start questioning yourself, wondering if you're in the wrong place.

00:00:15.039 --> 00:00:19.920
But what if that is actually a sign that you are in the right room?

00:00:20.160 --> 00:00:21.359
Don't mistake this.

00:00:21.519 --> 00:00:26.079
Otherwise, you might talk yourself out of the room that you absolutely need to be in.

00:00:26.239 --> 00:00:27.679
So I want you to think about this.

00:00:27.839 --> 00:00:31.920
Think about the last time you were surrounded by people who challenged you.

00:00:32.079 --> 00:00:34.000
Maybe they even intimidated you a little.

00:00:34.159 --> 00:00:35.119
You got that in mind?

00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:38.320
Now I want you to think about how did you feel inside that space?

00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:40.960
What made you want to shrink or play small?

00:00:41.119 --> 00:00:44.960
And what changed when you decided to stay anyway?

00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:47.920
The right rooms rarely feel comfortable at first.

00:00:48.159 --> 00:00:50.000
They tend to stretch your identity.

00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:56.159
Usually discomfort means that you've stepped into alignment with your future self, not your current one.

00:00:56.399 --> 00:00:59.200
Belonging doesn't happen before bravery.

00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:01.280
It happens because of it.

00:01:01.520 --> 00:01:04.159
We tend to see this with new coaches all the time.

00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:06.400
They join a space like Elevate.

00:01:06.480 --> 00:01:08.879
They feel out of space for the first few weeks.

00:01:09.040 --> 00:01:12.879
Then suddenly they realize they're actually exactly where they need to be.

00:01:13.040 --> 00:01:19.280
That's why today's quote is if the room feels too big, it's probably the one that fits your next level.

00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:24.879
Okay, so why do you think people actually pull back when they finally enter the right room?

00:01:25.200 --> 00:01:27.680
Because growth can sometimes feel like exposure.

00:01:27.840 --> 00:01:29.439
It can reveal where you're hiding.

00:01:29.519 --> 00:01:35.920
And maybe it might force you to say some things that are actually true, but that you're kind of nervous about sharing it with others.

00:01:36.159 --> 00:01:42.319
And what we see is when people lean in and actually share that, so many other people were thinking the same thing.

00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:47.200
And if you're stepping into the right room, you'll also have people who've been able to excel through that.

00:01:47.280 --> 00:01:50.159
And they'll be able to share some of the steps in order to help you do that too.

00:01:50.239 --> 00:01:53.599
But it would have never happened if you hadn't stepped into that room in the first place.

00:01:53.840 --> 00:01:56.400
So what do you think changes when they decide to stay?

00:01:56.640 --> 00:01:57.519
So many things.

00:01:57.680 --> 00:02:02.000
First off, confidence builds from participation, not perfection.

00:02:02.159 --> 00:02:07.200
And you grow by staying in the room long enough to feel like you belong there.

00:02:07.439 --> 00:02:12.240
This is why having a powerful community to call you forward is so incredibly important.

00:02:12.400 --> 00:02:15.840
You get to borrow the belief from others until it catches up with you.

00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:21.840
Now, once you're in the right rooms, you're gonna start noticing growth in ways you never thought that you'd experience.

00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:24.800
But there's one more thing you need to make sure that you do inside the room.

00:02:24.960 --> 00:02:26.639
And that's what we're gonna talk about next.

00:02:26.800 --> 00:02:32.560
And that's how to see the small wins you might be experiencing almost every day that you've actually been ignoring.