Nov. 24, 2025

When Clients Cry, Great Coaching Begins

Send us a text If you’ve ever felt your chest tighten when a client tears up, you’re not alone—and you’re closer to a breakthrough than you think. We take you inside the pivotal moments where emotion surfaces, why it matters, and how to respond without rescuing or retreating. Instead of treating tears as a problem to fix, we show you how to see them as signals of meaning that point to values, identity, and unmet needs. We unpack a simple, powerful reframe: emotions are data, not drama. From ...

Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon YouTube podcast player icon Amazon Music podcast player icon Overcast podcast player icon Castro podcast player icon RSS Feed podcast player icon Podchaser podcast player icon
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon YouTube podcast player icon Amazon Music podcast player icon Overcast podcast player icon Castro podcast player icon RSS Feed podcast player icon Podchaser podcast player icon

Send us a text

If you’ve ever felt your chest tighten when a client tears up, you’re not alone—and you’re closer to a breakthrough than you think. We take you inside the pivotal moments where emotion surfaces, why it matters, and how to respond without rescuing or retreating. Instead of treating tears as a problem to fix, we show you how to see them as signals of meaning that point to values, identity, and unmet needs.

We unpack a simple, powerful reframe: emotions are data, not drama. From that stance, your role shifts from fixer to partner. You’ll learn how to gain consent before going deeper, reflect what you notice without judgment, and stay steady when your own discomfort or fear kicks in. We share the two most common reasons coaches pull back, how to build emotional tolerance through repeated exposure and supervision, and why curiosity beats quick comfort every time. Presence becomes your method; trust becomes the outcome.

You’ll also hear a story of a father and business owner working through a eulogy exercise. When he reached what his son might say at the end of his life, the tears came—and that’s where the change began. By leaning in, naming the importance, and asking grounded questions, we moved from raw feeling to a concrete plan he could act on immediately. That arc—signal, safety, sense-making, strategy—is repeatable when you stop chasing perfect sessions and start honoring real ones.

If you’re ready to coach through the hard moments with more confidence, clarity, and impact, press play. Subscribe for more practical frameworks, share this with a coach who needs it today, and leave a review telling us the powerful question you’ll use to lean in.

Interested in elevating your coaching skills and accelerating your clients’ growth?

Become a Certified Life Coach!

Join the waitlist:

https://www.modernleadership.us/mastery



Chapters

00:00 - Why Tears Don’t Mean Trouble

00:20 - Lean In Instead Of Rescuing

01:31 - Emotions As Data, Not Drama

02:07 - Discomfort, Fear, And Staying Present

02:50 - Building Tolerance And Curiosity

03:45 - The Eulogy Exercise And A Breakthrough

05:16 - Trusting Yourself And Ditching Perfection

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:03.359
I've seen coaches freeze when a client actually starts crying.

00:00:03.520 --> 00:00:05.440
Why do those emotions matter so much?

00:00:05.679 --> 00:00:08.160
So tears aren't signs that something's wrong.

00:00:08.320 --> 00:00:11.279
They're actually evidence that something real is surfacing.

00:00:11.359 --> 00:00:20.640
And as a coach, when you stop getting into rescuing mode in those situations, you can bring out the best and help them find clarity that they've never had before.

00:00:20.800 --> 00:00:25.679
There's something that we teach our students inside of our certification related to emotion coming up.

00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:31.920
If emotion comes up, that means you must have asked a powerful question because it brought out something of your client.

00:00:32.079 --> 00:00:34.719
And generally, that's the path that we're going to want to go.

00:00:34.880 --> 00:00:40.960
Because to be honest, most people, if they experience emotion in someone else, they actually don't want to talk about that thing.

00:00:41.039 --> 00:00:46.000
They want to change the subject because they want themselves and their clients to feel comfortable.

00:00:46.159 --> 00:00:51.840
But the truth is, if that emotion is coming up for them, is because this is so important and meaningful to them.

00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:55.039
And so as a coach, I don't want you to lean out.

00:00:55.200 --> 00:00:56.399
I want you to lean in.

00:00:56.560 --> 00:01:00.159
Yeah, there's going to be times when you want to ask if it's okay to go down that path.

00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:01.600
But I want to let you know this.

00:01:01.759 --> 00:01:12.079
When you communicate to your client that this is important and meaningful to them, so that means it's important and meaningful to you, and you're willing to go along that path with them, it changes the game.

00:01:12.239 --> 00:01:16.159
Because now they don't just have somebody who's going to be sharing ideas and insights.

00:01:16.319 --> 00:01:20.159
They're actually now going to be a part of a team that's going to be tackling this together.

00:01:20.319 --> 00:01:25.040
And I got to tell you, the confidence that your client will have when you're willing to do that is next level.

00:01:25.280 --> 00:01:28.719
But the breakthroughs you experience, that's where the power really comes.

00:01:28.959 --> 00:01:30.719
So here's a different way to think about it.

00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:34.640
Think of emotions as data, not drama.

00:01:34.879 --> 00:01:39.359
Trying to comfort too soon in those situations might actually get your client to shut down.

00:01:39.519 --> 00:01:43.359
And the best way to respond here is to just be present.

00:01:43.599 --> 00:01:47.680
Because being present with your client will build more trust than you can ever imagine.

00:01:47.840 --> 00:01:50.640
Remember, it's not the easy times that we build that level of trust.

00:01:50.799 --> 00:01:51.760
It's the hard ones.

00:01:51.840 --> 00:01:55.040
It's when we're willing to lean in and to help tackle this as a team.

00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:57.519
That's the kind of coach I want you to show up as.

00:01:57.680 --> 00:02:03.120
That's why today's quote is tears aren't breakdowns, they're breakthroughs in disguise.

00:02:03.359 --> 00:02:06.879
So, what do you think coaches try to fix when an emotion comes up?

00:02:07.120 --> 00:02:08.479
Usually I find two different reasons.

00:02:08.639 --> 00:02:10.080
Number one, either discomfort.

00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:10.879
They're uncomfortable.

00:02:10.960 --> 00:02:12.719
They don't want to get their clients to be uncomfortable.

00:02:12.800 --> 00:02:14.159
So they want to go a different path.

00:02:14.319 --> 00:02:19.759
The second is you're afraid because you don't want to actually hurt the client by going down that path.

00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:25.280
Both of these perspectives won't get you to show up as the best version of you, which is what your client needs in that moment.

00:02:25.439 --> 00:02:27.199
Remember, you don't need to have the answers.

00:02:27.360 --> 00:02:30.479
You just have to be willing to ask the questions and go through it with them.

00:02:30.719 --> 00:02:33.680
What happens when a coach just breathes and stays?

00:02:33.919 --> 00:02:37.120
The client starts to see the reason behind the emotion.

00:02:37.360 --> 00:02:39.759
Emotions are there to help teach us something.

00:02:39.919 --> 00:02:45.919
And when we give them enough time to be able to process it out loud, they actually see the reason why the emotion's coming up.

00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:47.439
And then we can tackle it from there.

00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:50.960
How do you help coaches build that tolerance for emotion?

00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:52.639
First is practice.

00:02:52.879 --> 00:02:56.960
Like put yourself in an environment where this is just something that comes up all the time.

00:02:57.120 --> 00:03:00.240
I know inside of our certification, there's a lot of emotion that comes up.

00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:03.759
There's a lot of emotion that comes up on one-on-one calls and even group-based calls.

00:03:03.840 --> 00:03:10.240
But putting yourself in that environment so it's not out of the norm when it happens will help you see how best you can show up in that situation.

00:03:10.400 --> 00:03:12.719
The next thing is just to focus on curiosity.

00:03:12.879 --> 00:03:22.400
Sometimes we get so focused on how we're feeling or how the client's feeling that we lose that opportunity to be curious and get to the root of why that emotion is coming up.

00:03:22.560 --> 00:03:26.800
And lastly, I just want to remind everybody to get good at coaching yourself.

00:03:27.039 --> 00:03:31.599
Because in those moments of emotion, we'll often start to make things mean something about us.

00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:33.360
And they have nothing to do with that.

00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:41.759
So remember to practice focusing on your perspective that will get you to show up as the best version of you and never make that emotion mean anything about you.

00:03:41.919 --> 00:03:45.520
And the rest of the session will work out exactly the way that it was supposed to.

00:03:45.680 --> 00:03:49.360
So recently I was on a coaching session with a dad who's also a business owner.

00:03:49.520 --> 00:03:57.360
And his main thing was he wanted to show up for his family, his kids, and his wife on another level, just like how he had been showing up for his business.

00:03:57.599 --> 00:04:01.759
One of the processes that we take some of the men through is this idea of like writing your eulogy.

00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:03.840
And I know it kind of sounds morbid.

00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:21.759
However, when you think about how you want to not only show up in the world, so that at the end of your life, people are talking about you and who you are and what you've become and the impact that you've made, you can actually go to the end, figure out what that would look like, and then reverse engineer so you can start showing up like that person today.

00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:23.600
And I remember having this conversation.

00:04:23.759 --> 00:04:28.560
And when he got to his son, and what his son would say at his eulogy, the tears started to flow.

00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:33.839
And we leaned in and I told him, I said, Hey, listen, this is a part of the process.

00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:35.279
This happens all the time.

00:04:35.439 --> 00:04:36.560
It's supposed to happen.

00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:38.959
It's important and meaningful for you.

00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:41.439
That means it's important and meaningful for me.

00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:42.480
I'm all in.

00:04:42.639 --> 00:04:43.600
Let's talk about this.

00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:44.720
What's coming up for you?

00:04:44.879 --> 00:04:50.560
And what happened is he realized that he wasn't showing up as the father that he could show up as.

00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:54.639
He was not showing up as the person that he wanted to be at the end of his life.

00:04:54.800 --> 00:05:00.639
And by being able to verbalize this and me asking him, well, what would that look like right now in this moment?

00:05:00.879 --> 00:05:06.160
You could see those tears turned into processing, and that processing turned into a plan.

00:05:06.399 --> 00:05:16.560
When you give somebody the time and the space to do that, not only do they leave the session, having processed that emotion, but they feel clear and know exactly what they need to do next.

00:05:16.639 --> 00:05:19.439
And there's nothing that could stop them or get in their way.

00:05:19.600 --> 00:05:22.959
This is why we spend so much time on this inside of our certification.

00:05:23.199 --> 00:05:30.959
Almost during every session, we talk about the emotions that the person's experiencing in that moment because that's where the turning points are.

00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:36.000
And making sure that you stay steady when that emotion comes up is priority number one.

00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:46.639
Now, once you start to trust yourself in those emotional situations, the next breakthrough is learning how to let go of perfection in your session, thinking that that's just what success looks like.

00:05:46.879 --> 00:05:47.759
It actually doesn't.

00:05:47.920 --> 00:05:53.199
And you might be missing something that's actually key, which is what we're going to be diving into in breakthrough number eight.