Transcript
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What is going on, my people, and welcome back to another episode of Modern Leadership Coaching.
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Yes, we are relaunching the podcast and today we have an extremely powerful episode for you.
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So I'm curious what would it feel like being in a room of nine super successful, powerful coaches while they shared the keys to their success, some of the secrets that allowed them to actually rise to the level that they're at right now, so that you wouldn't have to waste any years off of your life, but also time and energy, trying to become that level of coach?
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So, if that's the case, today is your episode, so let's get right into it Now.
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The first person we have here is Chris Downing.
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You may know him.
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He's a celebrity super trainer.
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He's also a motivational speaker and a powerful coach that not only will have you work on the outside, but have you working on the inside.
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Let's dive into his tips.
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Chris Downing, motivational coach, motivational speaker and celebrity fitness trainer, I got to ask the good question what's one thing you wish you knew when you started coaching?
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That would have saved you years of frustration.
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Oh, that's a good question.
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I would have to say I wish I would have known my value much earlier.
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Uh, I think it was one of those situations where, when I first started with body, I just wanted to fit in.
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I don't want to step on anybody's toes, I don't want to come and stand out, I just wanted to fit in and be an assistance to everybody and compliment what everybody else was doing, not realizing that I was different and it was okay to be different.
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And so oftentimes you know, when you're in that space and you become frustrated when you have a talent and a gift on the inside of you that craves and has the passion to love, empower, inspire and bring out the best in other people and you hold it back.
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And so once I realized that you know what?
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No, I'm here for a reason and there's hundreds of thousands of people who I can meet right where they're at in their fitness level and use motivation and inspiration and love and empowerment to bring out the best in them.
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So once I realized that and I gave myself permission to be me, that's when the frustration stopped.
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And another good question here is what would I have done to fast track my results?
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I don't know if I would have fast tracked my results.
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I actually really love the journey of everything that I've been doing.
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I've been very grateful and appreciative to meet some of the most incredible people, including Mark, and I just love people.
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I love bringing out the best in people.
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I love creating programs for all fitness levels because I believe that everybody should be empowered.
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Programs for all fitness levels because I believe that everybody should be empowered, everybody should be inspired, everybody should be encouraged to become the greatest version themselves.
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So that's all I got for you, and I do want to say thank you so much to each and every person who's ever done a program of mine, because without you, I wouldn't be the trainer I am today.
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See you soon.
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What do you?
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think about that.
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You want to talk about it.
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Yeah, that's awesome.
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I think that you don't really think about well, I just got to be myself, but it's like easier to send them down Sometimes when you're first starting out or when you're trying to get into something that maybe you're not familiar with.
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So you're trying to be somebody else because you want to fit in Like we all want to fit in, and I mean, it's simple, but it's still a really great advice 100%.
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So some of the things that I wrote down was being yourself.
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Give yourself permission to just be you, right.
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Because, like, everything that you have been able to do in the past has gotten you to where you are by being you, and if you get put into this new situation and you're somebody else entirely different, it really takes away that special part, because that special part is you, yeah.
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So I love that, all right.
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Coach number two is Cynthia Van Warmer.
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Now, if you know Cynthia, she's a master at helping people through the process of actually calling, processing pain, being able to really pull out and ask those deep questions to help people realize things that they didn't even know existed.
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So let's get into her tips now.
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Hi, I'm Cynthia Van Warmer, certified life and performance coach, mentor and founder of Purposeful Living Coaching.
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I help individuals move through life's toughest seasons and step into more clarity, confidence and purpose, without sacrificing who they are along the way.
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This question was asked what's one thing you wish you knew when you started coaching that would have saved you years of frustration or fast-tracked your results?
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If I could go back and whisper one truth to myself when I started coaching, it would be this Confidence isn't something you wait to feel.
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It's something you build by choosing to show up before you feel ready.
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For years, I believed I had to earn the right to speak up, that I needed more certifications, more experience, more clarity before I could fully step into this role, and that belief cost me time, opportunities and, honestly, a lot of sleepless nights.
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But here's the truth I know now.
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You don't become confident and then take action.
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You take action and that's what grows your confidence.
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When I finally said yes to becoming a certified life and performance coach, it wasn't because everything was perfect or figured out.
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It was because I realized people weren't waiting for me to be flawless.
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They were waiting for me to be real, to share my story, to speak with compassion, to help them see what was possible, because I had walked through the hard stuff too.
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And that's the gift your story, your real imperfect journey is what qualifies you, that's what builds trust, that's what fast tracks transformation in you and in your clients.
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So if you're just starting out or doubting, if you're enough yet, please hear me you are.
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Show up.
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Speak up and don't wait for confidence to arrive.
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Create it, that one shift.
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It changed everything for me and I promise it will for you too.
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So we've had the honor of knowing Cynthia for many years now and it's just it's amazing to see how much she's grown like from when we first met her and, you know, I feel like confidence is like already in us and it's just something that just needs to be revealed through what she said right, by going out there and doing things, so to see her kind of living, that is really cool be real, because there are so many things you've been able to overcome, right, so many mountains you've been able to climb, so many things you've been able to process and get through.
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on the other end, right, I mean, you remind yourself of who you are and what you bring into every conversation.
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It just changes the game, it changes up the coaching session and just really changes everything forever.
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All right, so let's get into number three, which is Hillary Hartling, miss Disney.
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So Hillary is really a master at branding and messaging and she worked for Disney for quite some time.
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She is also one of the most kindest and humblest humans on the planet.
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She is somebody that we work very closely with and she's helped, given us a lot of clarity, especially when we felt quote unquote stuck.
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So let's get right into her message today.
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You know, I would say, the one thing I wish I knew when I started my brand strategy coaching and this would have saved me years of frustration for sure is this that it is so much harder to get clarity for yourself than it is for anyone else.
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So before I launched my own brand strategy business, I spent over 15 years marketing some of the most recognizable entertainment brands in the world.
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It was Disney, pixar, marvel and a couple more.
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But honestly, I actually think that that was easier.
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It was easier to market a billion dollar film franchise than it was to market myself, and this is why what's that saying?
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It's when you're inside the bottle you can't read the label, which means when you're so close to your own work or when it's so personal to you, when it is you, when it's your personal brand so closely linked to your business, it is very hard to clearly articulate your mission, your message and really that unique magic that only you can bring.
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And so that's exactly why my clients come to me now, because they've realized they can't see it clearly for themselves either, and the truth is, I don't think you're supposed to.
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It's why having an outside perspective, someone like me who can reflect back your brilliance, help you own that unique perspective that you bring to the table and turn all of that into a clear brand and messaging strategy that will save you years of spinning your wheels.
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So I would say this once you have that clarity, once you can confidently talk about who you are, what you do and why it matters, everything changes.
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Then you really then have the clarity to start attracting the right people and you stop second guessing yourself because you're clear and your brand feels most like you.
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So if I could go back in time, I would probably tell myself don't try to figure it out all alone.
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And, by the way, this goes for every area of your business.
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I would say it's like the things you need help in.
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Go and seek the help that you need, get support, but most of all, get clarity, because I think clarity is the fast track to growth.
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Clarity is really the foundation for a brand and a business that you are excited about and that you can't wait to shout from the rooftops because you are so clear and your mission is set.
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So that's what I would say.
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I hope that helps you in some way.
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She has so much wisdom, which is why we're always, you know, reaching out to her and asking for some support.
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But it's so easy for us to even, like, see potential in other people than it is to see our own potential.
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And she's right Like, sometimes you just have to reach out to others so that they can point out some of the things that are so obvious to other people that you can't see yourself because you're in it.
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Yep, yep, I love that.
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When I look at these nine coaches that we have here, I'm like we have some of the most powerful humans in the world and really powerful thinkers of some of the most powerful humans in the world and really powerful thinkers, but also people who, like, really make sure that they help us refocus our perspective on a way that is like creating more of what we want, not focused on what's broken, wrong or missing Right, like when when you know Hillary is talking about, like branding I think about that related to every area of your life, what she shared.
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Right, when you're in the box, when you're trapped in the box, you can't see the label right and it's very easy to help coach other people, very easy to help lead other people, because you don't have all of their behind the scenes, you don't have all of their limiting beliefs.
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You're just seeing it from yourself and you have this heart for, like no, I can see the potential in you ourselves.
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We need to be able to get that kind of help for ourselves as well.
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Being able to see it from your perspective is much harder than being able to go and be able to coach someone else.
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So be open to getting that coaching and that help from someone else.
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Let's get into number four.
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Oh, this is a good one, guys.
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This is Jason McKenzie.
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So, jason McKenzie and a couple of the gentlemen who are here, they actually connected with me through the dad edge.
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So back when, maybe like five or six years ago, I was struggling with my parenting, my husbanding if that's a word Like I wanted to become better at that and I noticed that I was spending so much time in business and police work and I was like, well, how do I go to dad school or husband school?
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And he is one of the gentlemen who really raised the bar for me Now, specifically one of the gentlemen who really raised the bar for me.
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Now, specifically, jason is like the empathy king.
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The way that he asks questions is like next level.
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It's kind of like one of those things where if somebody else had asked you, you might be a little offended, but the way that he asks it with curiosity, that's what I've grabbed onto and actually used in a lot of the different things that I do, and you will find that out really soon.
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Let's jump right into his tips today.
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Hey, my name is Jason McKenzie.
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I, along with some amazing other guys, run a coaching program for dad's home businesses, and I am also the chief coaching officer of the Ames Institute, and we're a management consulting company that helps small and medium-sized businesses unlock the incredible capacity in their teams and organizations.
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And what do I wish I had learned back when I started coaching?
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So I've been coaching for about eight years I suppose eight or nine years, probably nine years and I think what I wish I had learned sooner was the power of humility and realizing that I have no idea what is best for anybody else.
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So when I started coaching, I was fairly enthralled, I would say, with the idea that people would actually want to seek my counsel, and I felt a lot of pressure to be the expert, and so what I found myself doing fairly frequently was giving people advice and telling them what I thought they should do, etc.
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And I've come to realize that I just have no idea what is best for someone else, and the greatest gift that I can give someone is to guide them through my own curiosity and stimulating theirs to uncover their inner knowing, because we often know what the right thing to do is or are more than capable of figuring it out, just by somebody taking the time and being present to ask us the types of questions that we might not ask ourselves, which then facilitates a journey of self-discovery.
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So at this point in my coaching career, that level of humility and knowing fundamentally, believing that I don't know what's right for anybody else, has really freed me to just be fully present and deeply, deeply curious about their experience, you know, of the past, of the present and what they would love their experience to be from the future.
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And you know I found also that I used to, at the beginning of the journey, I used to ask a lot of questions, which was good Obviously that's what a coach should do but I asked them more from the point of trying to think of a great question to ask, and sometimes I think my ego got wrapped up in, you know, wanting them to think it was a great question, where now I am legitimately just genuinely curious, like I'm a student of the human condition, I could say, and I'm much better at asking questions.
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But part of that is because I'm genuinely curious about understanding the experience of the other person and helping them understand it themselves.
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That's super, super powerful.
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I think coaches might feel this pressure to like try to fix someone or try to fix people's problems, when you know he said that tapping into that humility and that curiosity I feel like would lift so much pressure off of people because you don't have to do that.
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Right, coaching is not about fixing problems or knowing exactly what somebody needs, because, like you said, we have absolutely no idea what someone actually needs and we can guide them and we can ask questions and really kind of get into like really getting to know someone and seeing what makes them tick and helping guide them along the way.
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But I think that's super powerful just to keep that in mind, especially when you're first getting started.
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Yep, I think one of the things, the main things that I learned from Jason is this whole idea of like just being curious, entering a conversation, being genuinely curious when he says that I don't believe, like I know the answers to this, like he really does believe that he's not just saying that to himself.
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You can actually feel it in the conversation and the thing is is like when you first get started as a coach, you kind of think, just like as a leader, like I need to be pointing directions, I need to.
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That's what.
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That's what it looks like.
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Right, but I got to tell you and I want you to think about this, because I'm sure every single one of you has experienced a coaching moment like this, where the coach is just there, is present and is curious and is asking you questions, and the level of like depth that comes out of you is powerful.
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Think about the confidence that that gives you when you come up with the answers, because you have them inside, versus somebody else tells you.
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It could feel good when that happens, when somebody else tells you, but now you're seeking the outside to find the answers.
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When the answers are really on the inside, they have this process called clean thinking that we teach, where it's just like they're disassociated and they're just really genuinely curious.
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It totally transforms the coaching session, but it transforms what comes out of it as well.
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All right, so now we're going to get into number five.
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By the way, I told you these were going to be powerful, right, by the way, we didn't even listen to these beforehand because we wanted to be like surprised by how amazing they are, and I love them, all right.
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The next one is from Jeff Bowman.
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Jeff is also a member of the dad edge.
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How can I say this?
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He, he constantly challenges me to think about how I can achieve or do both.
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Early on, like he was one of the main guys who was like hey, mark, I see that you want to become a better father and a better husband and you also want to grow like this incredible business.
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What is a way that you could do both, but not only do that, but in a way that one would actually make you better in the other?
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And it blew my mind.
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So he's a tactical genius when it comes to numbers, especially he says he's a recovering CPA, but he's also really great at asking powerful questions.
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So let's dive into his feedback today.
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Hey there, jeff Bowman.
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Here I am, the CEO and founder of the AIMS Institute and founder of the AIMS Institute and I've been coaching and consulting leaders, small business owners and dads and high performers for about a decade now.
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The one thing Mark asked me this question, the one thing that I wish I knew earlier something that would have saved me years of frustration is this it's that the real value of coaching doesn't come from the tools I provide, the frameworks that I might have at my disposal, or my offer itself.
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It comes from my ability to help someone clearly see the nature of the problem that they're facing, what's causing that problem and what it's costing them to not fix it.
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And if I go back to time, my goal was how quickly can I get into talking about my solution?
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Right, and when I would do that, I oftentimes quite honestly face resistance.
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People might nod, they might be polite, but most of the time they just weren't ready.
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And I think that's where I see most coaches and consultants get stuck right.
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They ask questions, but not to really understand and help people see the nature of the problem they're facing and what's causing it or the impact of it.
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They're asking questions only so they can get to their pitch.
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They're focusing on getting someone to say yes to them, not helping someone say yes to change.
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And so here's what I had to learn is that before someone can buy into you, they need to buy into the desire or the need to change themselves.
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And so I learned that my job isn't to impress people with what I do.
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It's to guide them through a conversation or conversations that get them to emotionally and logically connect to what's not working and why it matters to them, and I think if I get that right, everything changes.
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People lean in, they ask for my help and they're willing to invest, not just financially, but mentally and emotionally.
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What's really surprising is, when I figured this out, a lot of the objections that I saw previously, that I attributed to money, weren't even there right, and when we talk about this right when the people I did get to sign up, they'd be sometimes Right.
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And when we talk about this right when you know the people I did get to sign up, they'd be sometimes half invested, and when someone's only half invested, it's almost always because I didn't help them fully connect to the cost of staying the same.
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And so the lesson that I wish I would have learned is don't sell your stuff.
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Help people see their stuff and then walk with them from where they are to where they actually want to be, using the framework that provides the transformation that either you learned, you've tweaked or you know to give value.
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I love that.
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I think it's a lot to do with like transformational coaching and what we actually do.
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I know he's talking about like potential clients, but you know we do this with our own clients as well, because it's like moving into the hey, let's make you feel better or let's reframe this.
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What's another way you can look at this?
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And we don't spend a lot of time there because that's not where transformation happens.
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It happens when they do some of the deep work of like why they're experiencing what they're experiencing.
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So that's uncomfortable work sometimes, especially for a new coach, but that's truly where people can see change.
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I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it.
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I mean, we talk about this a lot, like in all of our programs.
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Right, it is as a coach.
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There's going to be some uncomfortableness in you, but remember, this is not about you, this is about your client.
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You're going to want to switch, you're going to want to talk about the positives, you're going to want to, like, pull out, reframe all this stuff, but you have to actually help them get to the root of the problem.
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Really, you have to write.
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I mean, this is what we have this 10 part truth series that we have coming up on a video and on podcasts.
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You got to subscribe to that because there's 10 truths that people absolutely need to know about coaching to really be able to help people in a transformational way.
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We're gonna be doing that in the future.
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But he really hit on it.
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You really hit on it.
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It because it's taking the time to get them to see where they are right, get them to see, like, how far they have to go between there and where they want to get, and then also like what is it that is actually holding them back?
00:21:37.689 --> 00:21:46.968
And the truth is is if most people don't know that right, and so being able to ask those questions and being able to diagnose and get to the root of that is like sometimes that's all you need in a coaching session.
00:21:46.968 --> 00:21:48.830
You don't even need to jump to the other side.
00:21:48.830 --> 00:21:54.528
Sometimes that seeing that and going I didn't even realize that is enough to motivate and move you right.
00:21:54.528 --> 00:21:55.865
So I really love that a lot.
00:21:55.865 --> 00:21:56.667
Thank you for sharing, jeff.
00:21:57.200 --> 00:22:04.001
All right now, before you actually get into the next voice memo, what I want to share is I want to give a shout out to one of my biggest mentors.
00:22:04.001 --> 00:22:05.384
His name is Josh Josh Coates.
00:22:05.384 --> 00:22:11.192
He didn't have an opportunity to record an audio here today, but I feel like I would be doing a disservice if I didn't shout him out.
00:22:11.192 --> 00:22:16.556
He is somebody who has pushed me to grow, has leaned in to help me develop my skill of coaching.
00:22:16.556 --> 00:22:20.057
He called it out and saw me as a coach and said you know what?
00:22:20.057 --> 00:22:29.650
That's not something you do, that is something that is basically who you are, and by doing that, by teaming up with me, he gave me so many opportunities that I would have never had if I hadn't.
00:22:29.650 --> 00:22:38.604
So he didn't get an opportunity to make a voice memo, but I wanted to make sure that he got shouted out here because he's definitely one of the my mentors, the biggest mentor, that has made the biggest change in my life.
00:22:39.105 --> 00:22:45.027
All right, next we're going to go on to number six, which is Larry Hagner, also known as Lawrence Hagner.
00:22:45.027 --> 00:22:51.142
So he is the leader and founder of the dad edge Really really powerful individual.
00:22:51.142 --> 00:22:53.326
If you do not listen to his podcast, where have you been?
00:22:53.326 --> 00:23:11.471
It's like the number one ranked podcast in the world when it comes to parenting, when it comes to spousing and all those other relationships relationships, that's the word that I'm looking for and he has really helped me transform my life as a parent and as a spouse, and I think you should probably actually thank him for this, because I was even worse than I am now back then.
00:23:11.471 --> 00:23:14.174
But I want to jump right into his takeaway today.
00:23:14.174 --> 00:23:15.582
Let's just do it.
00:23:15.823 --> 00:23:19.531
There's a lot of things that I wish I would have known three to five years ago.
00:23:19.531 --> 00:23:23.269
That probably would have saved me just a ton of frustration.
00:23:23.269 --> 00:23:34.749
But if I could have anything just really really bubble up to the top, it's not to be tied to the results of my client more than they are tied to the results.
00:23:34.749 --> 00:23:42.854
So like, for instance, in the past, when I first started coaching, I wanted a certain type of success for my clients so badly.
00:23:42.854 --> 00:24:02.912
And what I didn't realize early on in my coaching career was that, you know, I wanted like these big, grandiose, unbelievable, you know, groundbreaking results for my clients and I would make these goals and these dreams so big that, quite frankly, they were quite unattainable.
00:24:02.912 --> 00:24:19.165
And what I found was is I was probably putting the target of my client's success so far out of their reach and I couldn't understand why a lot of my clients early on would just lose motivation or they would just kind of like over time they would just run out of steam.
00:24:19.165 --> 00:24:21.612
It was almost like they couldn't go anymore.
00:24:21.612 --> 00:24:23.022
The distance was too far away.
00:24:23.805 --> 00:24:54.570
What I wish I would have learned earlier on is what it looks like to number one, understand the long game, but also putting in milestones that my clients could then go out and achieve, like the short little wins along the way, like not even the weekly wins but the daily wins, like just the small wins throughout the day that got them closer and closer to a goal that would ultimately bring them, I know, such joy and such gratitude and all these other things that I know that they truly wanted the fulfillment the whole nine yards.
00:24:55.220 --> 00:25:16.550
So I would have put in smaller, shorter milestones along the way, things that they could go out and win, ways that they could go out and literally build confidence along the way, versus chasing some big, huge, audacious goal that might take them a year to even get remotely close to, versus celebrating small wins along the way.
00:25:16.550 --> 00:25:31.284
So giving my clients those baby steps, giving them those milestones and giving them those daily wins that we could then go out and identify, I think that would have made my journey as a coach a heck of a lot more enjoyable as well, as my clients as well.
00:25:31.805 --> 00:25:32.025
Oof.
00:25:32.025 --> 00:25:41.412
Yeah, I think that like tying how you feel as a coach to your clients' results is like a recipe for disaster, right?
00:25:41.412 --> 00:25:56.250
And I think we truly want people to succeed and, like you know, hillary said earlier earlier, like we can see that potential sometimes in other people and not in us, and we so want, like, the best for people.
00:25:56.250 --> 00:26:03.230
But I think that you know he's so right that if you have these big goals, you have to set those small wins.
00:26:03.230 --> 00:26:19.105
And we have implemented this habit in our programs in our one-on because it's so important to be able to recognize that you're taking those steps and each of those steps is a success because that's going to build up to like the biggest transformation.
00:26:19.105 --> 00:26:21.771
So keeping an eye on that is super important.
00:26:22.300 --> 00:26:27.304
Yeah, I mean, what Larry just hit on is really one of the truths that we're actually going to be sharing in this upcoming series.
00:26:27.304 --> 00:26:30.192
But it talks a lot about like our heart, right.
00:26:30.192 --> 00:26:37.757
Here's the thing as a coach, a lot of you guys are what's called heart-driven coaches, which means you want results for your client more than anything.
00:26:37.757 --> 00:26:41.750
You didn't just get them to sign up and to pay you money and like you're going to peace out.
00:26:41.750 --> 00:26:47.286
You're like I want to do whatever I can physically, mentally and emotionally to get my client's results.
00:26:47.286 --> 00:26:54.374
And when you're tied to that and it's related to your worth whether you're a good coach or not, depending on your clients that can be a painful situation.
00:26:54.374 --> 00:27:01.508
Right, and being able to separate that is one of the things that you need to learn how to do, and we'll teach you that, don't worry about it.
00:27:01.508 --> 00:27:04.864
But being aware of it is very, very important.
00:27:05.144 --> 00:27:07.542
Right, and making sure that you do meet your clients.
00:27:07.542 --> 00:27:11.305
I like to say I meet them 60% of the way, but really it's 50.
00:27:11.305 --> 00:27:15.201
You can't meet them 100%, right, but you have to meet them somewhere in the middle.
00:27:15.201 --> 00:27:19.826
And really finding ways of being able to do that where they do meet them in the middle.
00:27:19.826 --> 00:27:24.470
That's really the power of being able to be a coach, ask the right questions and get them to buy into it.
00:27:24.470 --> 00:27:26.230
But remember you can't control all of that.
00:27:26.230 --> 00:27:30.123
Yeah, all right, let's get into number seven, which is Lexi Smith.
00:27:30.123 --> 00:27:30.765
You want to intro her?
00:27:31.234 --> 00:27:31.454
Yeah.
00:27:31.454 --> 00:27:38.384
So Lexi is a coach who kind of helped me realize that we were doing really cool things and more people needed to know about it.
00:27:38.384 --> 00:27:43.529
So I actually got connected with Lexi through Hillary, and she is a PR expert.
00:27:43.529 --> 00:27:44.790
So let's hear what she has to say.
00:27:45.055 --> 00:27:46.377
My name is Lexi Smith.
00:27:46.377 --> 00:27:57.469
I am a PR and business coach, co-founder of the Ready Set Coach community, a community and growth platform for coaches, and CEO of Growth Mode Personal Brand Agency.
00:27:57.469 --> 00:28:04.597
Growth mode personal brand agency.
00:28:04.617 --> 00:28:07.405
One thing I wish I had known was you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot force them to drink.
00:28:07.405 --> 00:28:15.704
The outcomes your clients achieve aren't always a direct reflection of your effort, your strategy or your support.
00:28:15.704 --> 00:28:28.631
You can build the roadmap, you can open every door and you can cheer them on the loudest, but at the end of the day, they have to choose to walk through it or walk the walk.
00:28:28.631 --> 00:28:39.240
Understanding that difference has been an absolute game changer for how I define success and I set boundaries and, overall, just protect my energy.
00:28:39.240 --> 00:28:43.048
I also want to note that this can show up in the sales process.
00:28:43.048 --> 00:28:45.363
Right, you can bring the right insights.