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Everyone wants to be influential. Almost no one stops to ask what their influence is teaching the people around them. Mark and Teresa unpack a coaching truth that can change how you lead: the questions you ask can be just as directive as the advice you give, and sometimes they’re even more dangerous because they feel “neutral” while quietly steering someone into a limiting belief.
They walk through a real coaching scenario where “I’m overwhelmed” instantly turns into time management talk, journals, and time blocking. The problem is not the tools, it’s the assumption. When your questions presuppose the diagnosis, you accidentally give power to circumstances and to a client’s current perspective, which can take away ownership and create dependence. Instead, they explain how to coach for agency by focusing on what people can control: how they think, how they talk, and how they act.
From there, the conversation gets practical with coaching standards they teach inside their coaching certification and leadership training: clean thinking, holding space, and using a framework like their Growth Model as an awareness tool rather than a script. You’ll also hear the two questions they come back to constantly “What do you mean by that?” and “Tell me about the last time this happened” plus a simple challenge to use silence so the other person can find the insight themselves.
If you want to lead better conversations at work and at home, listen through to the end, then try their “last time” question in your very next conversation. Subscribe, share this with a leader who defaults to fixing, and leave a review so more people find the Modern Leadership Coaching Podcast.
Want to go deeper on what we talked about today?
We put together a short video on how to lead high-stakes conversations without winging it.
Watch it here: https://www.modernleadership.us/mastery