Nov. 6, 2025

Silence Is Where Breakthroughs Begin

Send us a text You ask a powerful question, the room goes quiet, and your stomach tightens—should you jump in? We pull back the curtain on why that silent pause is often the most important moment in a coaching session and how to trust it instead of rushing to fill it. When a client doesn’t answer right away, it isn’t a dead end; it’s the mind at work, reaching past automatic responses to find what’s real. We share a clear, practical approach to holding space: breathe, relax your body, and in...

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Send us a text

You ask a powerful question, the room goes quiet, and your stomach tightens—should you jump in? We pull back the curtain on why that silent pause is often the most important moment in a coaching session and how to trust it instead of rushing to fill it. When a client doesn’t answer right away, it isn’t a dead end; it’s the mind at work, reaching past automatic responses to find what’s real.

We share a clear, practical approach to holding space: breathe, relax your body, and invite the client to take their time. Rather than stacking more words, protect the quiet and watch for subtle cues that thinking is happening. You’ll hear how this played out on a recent certification call when a coach, after a reflective pause, realized she’d been taking aligned actions but never gave herself credit. That single insight shifted her energy—and the whole room’s—proving that silence can spark momentum, clarity, and confidence.

Along the way, we unpack why coaches feel pressure to talk (awkwardness, fear of emptiness, a habit of fixing) and offer mindset shifts that move you from performance to presence. The best insights come from your client, not from you, and the pause is where they claim them. We close by teeing up the next breakthrough: stopping the fixer reflex and guiding discovery instead, so sessions become lighter, deeper, and far more impactful.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a coach who needs this reminder, and leave a quick review telling us what changes when you trust the pause.

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Chapters

00:00 - The Power Of The Pause

00:44 - Silence Fuels Breakthroughs

01:19 - Why Coaches Fill The Quiet

01:50 - Practicing Holding Space

02:02 - A Certification Call Example

03:12 - Trusting Silence And Next Steps

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:06.799
When coaches first start practicing with us, they tell me that the silence after a big question feels so awkward.

00:00:06.959 --> 00:00:09.199
What's really happening in that quiet space?

00:00:09.439 --> 00:00:18.879
At first, when coaches ask a question and their clients go silent, a lot of times coaches think that it's because they asked the wrong question or they asked a question that's going to make their client feel awkward.

00:00:18.960 --> 00:00:20.239
And so they aren't responding.

00:00:20.399 --> 00:00:23.920
But here's what I really found after coaching thousands of people through this.

00:00:24.079 --> 00:00:27.679
That pause is where the client's truth really services.

00:00:27.839 --> 00:00:33.119
I want you to think about the last time that somebody asked you a question and you didn't have an immediate response.

00:00:33.359 --> 00:00:36.079
Where did you go to actually find the answer?

00:00:36.240 --> 00:00:44.000
Now I'm not sure if somebody interrupted this thought process or not, but if they didn't, what would have happened if they had and you weren't able to discover that answer?

00:00:44.159 --> 00:00:46.240
That's why silence is so powerful.

00:00:46.560 --> 00:00:50.479
Silence isn't empty, it's where the breakthroughs happen.

00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:58.560
When somebody has to think about the question you asked, means they have to go back into their subconscious mind and share what's really coming up for them.

00:00:58.719 --> 00:01:01.759
And if it's not automatic, that's actually a good thing.

00:01:01.920 --> 00:01:09.120
You may have asked them a powerful question that they never even thought of to answer before, which means it's going to produce a powerful answer.

00:01:09.280 --> 00:01:13.840
Something you're now going to be able to use to help guide your clients to their version of success.

00:01:14.079 --> 00:01:17.280
That's why today's quote is silence isn't awkward.

00:01:17.439 --> 00:01:19.680
It's where transformation breathes.

00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:23.120
Why do coaches feel so much pressure to fill the silence?

00:01:23.359 --> 00:01:25.519
Well, the answer is slightly different for every coach.

00:01:25.599 --> 00:01:29.280
That's kind of why we use our growth model to be able to find out what is actually going on.

00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:35.359
But from the number of people that we've actually coached through this, a lot of times it's they feel awkward in silence.

00:01:35.519 --> 00:01:39.840
Like they have to say something because either they feel that way or they don't want their clients to be.

00:01:40.159 --> 00:01:43.519
What changes when a coach actually starts trusting the pause?

00:01:43.760 --> 00:01:47.760
The best insights come from your client, not from you.

00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:50.480
How can a coach practice holding space?

00:01:50.719 --> 00:01:57.359
When these opportunities come up, just breathe, relax your body, and then tell your client to take their time.

00:01:57.519 --> 00:02:02.560
There's no rush to get to an answer and allow them to process it and just share whatever comes up for them.

00:02:02.719 --> 00:02:06.879
I want to share an example of this that came up last week during one of our certification calls.

00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:11.520
So one of the coaches was talking about struggling with taking the actions that they wanted to take.

00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:19.120
And so we started to dive in, ask some questions, help them gain some clarity, and give them a space to process those questions so they could find their answers.

00:02:19.280 --> 00:02:25.439
And I remember jumping in to help the coach and asking a question to get them to pause and see just how far they had come.

00:02:25.599 --> 00:02:30.000
Now they didn't have an immediate answer, but I gave them some time to be able to reflect on it.

00:02:30.159 --> 00:02:31.280
And here's what she said.

00:02:31.439 --> 00:02:35.759
She said, actually, now that I think about it, I'm actually doing what I want to do.

00:02:35.919 --> 00:02:38.159
I'm just not giving myself any credit for it.

00:02:38.319 --> 00:02:45.759
And it was funny because the remainder of that call was fueled by this thought of, I've actually made much more progress than I've given myself.

00:02:45.840 --> 00:02:48.800
And I need to sit back and reflect just how far I have come.

00:02:48.960 --> 00:02:50.479
Her entire energy changed.

00:02:50.639 --> 00:02:56.240
But even the people that she was in breakout rooms and did practice sessions with, their energy changed too.

00:02:56.400 --> 00:03:02.159
Because we gave her the space to be able to process it and really think about it, because she didn't have the answer in the moment.

00:03:02.319 --> 00:03:07.840
And something that simple can be a game changer, not only for the coach, but for the client too.

00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:15.919
Now, aside of our certification, we do this all the time because we know that coaches need a space not only to practice and get feedback, but get coaching for themselves too.

00:03:16.080 --> 00:03:24.000
Because even though we know how to coach, we still have a human brain and we still need to work through some of the challenges that we have while learning how to help others through it too.

00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:32.560
But I gotta tell you, when they learn to trust the pause and you see the real breakthroughs happen, it's a powerful moment that everybody on the call can feel.

00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:36.639
Now, if you missed episode number one, we talked about letting go of performance.

00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:39.439
If you didn't listen to that one, definitely go back and check it out.

00:03:39.599 --> 00:03:46.879
Now, once you start trusting silence, the next big breakthrough that changes everything is when you stop trying to be a fixer.

00:03:47.039 --> 00:03:52.000
We'll explain exactly what that looks like and how to avoid it in breakthrough number three.