Sept. 8, 2025

Real Coaching Isn’t About You—It’s About This | Truth #5

Send us a text Are you a coach striving to make a real impact? In "What Real Coaching Is All About | Truth 5," we explore one of the most powerful truths every coach needs to know: coaching is never about you—it's all about your client. If you've felt the pressure to perform or prove yourself, this video breaks down why shifting from self-focus to client-focus is the game-changer you need. We'll uncover why presence, not performance, is the core of effective coaching, and share actionable st...

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Send us a text

Are you a coach striving to make a real impact? In "What Real Coaching Is All About | Truth 5," we explore one of the most powerful truths every coach needs to know: coaching is never about you—it's all about your client. If you've felt the pressure to perform or prove yourself, this video breaks down why shifting from self-focus to client-focus is the game-changer you need.

We'll uncover why presence, not performance, is the core of effective coaching, and share actionable strategies like "clean thinking" to elevate your sessions. Learn how to stay fully present for your clients, avoid the common trap of guiding instead of coaching, and discover how this approach can transform not only your coaching practice but your clients' results as well. 

One of our students said it best: this approach takes the pressure off and allows you to hold space and ask the right questions. Are you ready to step into your full potential as a coach? Share your thoughts in the comments, and don't forget to subscribe for more insights. Stay tuned for Truth 6, where we’ll tackle the missing ingredient that holds even skilled coaches back!

#communicationskills #coachingtoolbox #coachingbusiness #leadership #goalsetting

#activelistening #coachingtoolbox #communicationskills #lifecoaching #coachingbusiness

CHAPTERS:
00:00 - Coaching Selfishness: Why It's a Problem
00:54 - Identifying Self-Centered Coaching Behaviors
01:30 - Transitioning to Client-Centric Coaching
02:40 - Benefits of Letting Go of Approval Seeking
03:27 - Recap of Truth Number 4 Discussion
03:45 - Preview of Truth Number 6 Discussion

Interested in learning more about our Coaching Certification program?
Visit us at: https://www.modernleadership.us/certification


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Whether you're looking to master your ability to coach, you're going through a challenge, or working on a powerful goal, join Marc or Teresa for a 20-minute strategy session and leave the call with a plan to make it happen!


Chapters

00:00 - Coaching Is About Presence, Not Performance

00:53 - Signs of Self-Focused Coaching

01:30 - Shifting to Client-Centered Coaching

02:59 - The Power of Clean Thinking

03:37 - Looking Forward to Truth #6

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.281 --> 00:00:06.173
A lot of coaches, especially new ones, feel pressure to look good or prove that they're doing it right.

00:00:06.173 --> 00:00:08.045
So what do you think is the problem with that?

00:00:08.045 --> 00:00:14.547
So the moment the session starts to become about you, it's no longer about your client, and that's really where coaching starts to break down.

00:00:14.547 --> 00:00:18.748
Here's the thing Coaching isn't about a performance, it's about presence.

00:00:18.748 --> 00:00:25.010
It's about being there physically, mentally and emotionally for your client and being able to hear things that most people wouldn't be able to hear.

00:00:25.010 --> 00:00:29.765
And when you're self-focused, you're really thinking about all the thoughts that you have about this situation.

00:00:29.765 --> 00:00:32.252
You can't be fully present there for your client.

00:00:32.252 --> 00:00:40.564
So when coaching becomes about you, your validation, how well you're doing, or even your own comfort level, you're actually not coaching in that moment.

00:00:40.564 --> 00:00:45.290
And that's why today's truth is is that real coaching isn't about you, it's about the client.

00:00:45.290 --> 00:00:48.335
So I want to share a quote with you real quick that will really hit this home.

00:00:48.335 --> 00:00:53.131
It says the client doesn't need your performance, they need your presence.

00:00:53.131 --> 00:00:56.268
So what are some signs that a coach is making it about themselves?

00:00:56.268 --> 00:00:58.991
The first sign is that you're getting into your own head.

00:00:58.991 --> 00:01:04.668
You're trying to say things a certain way, you're trying to sound polished, you're thinking about where to guide the client.

00:01:04.668 --> 00:01:12.662
You're thinking about different ideas to give them, and I find a lot of times that coaches are thinking about what's the next question that I can ask my client while their client is still talking.

00:01:12.662 --> 00:01:20.186
This can also look like you thinking you know the best path to take them down and trying to ask them questions to guide them down.

00:01:20.186 --> 00:01:22.373
That way, that's just simply not coaching.

00:01:22.373 --> 00:01:30.081
It's consulting or mentoring, and that's okay in certain respects, but when we're talking about coaching, it's not about guiding or pushing people in a direction.

00:01:30.081 --> 00:01:34.251
Can you tell me how someone can shift from self-focus to client focus?

00:01:34.251 --> 00:01:35.301
Absolutely.

00:01:35.301 --> 00:01:36.403
I'm going to share two different ways.

00:01:36.403 --> 00:01:49.649
The first one is you being your best client, meaning that you're using coaching on yourself, especially before a session, so that you come in and you don't bring any of your preconceived notions, thoughts, feelings, anything with you into the session.

00:01:49.649 --> 00:01:51.084
You make it all about your client.

00:01:51.439 --> 00:01:53.487
Number two is a process that we teach in our certification.

00:01:53.487 --> 00:01:58.769
It's called clean thinking, and when it comes to clean thinking, it's not something that we do normally as humans.

00:01:58.769 --> 00:02:16.032
Sometimes we wanna jump in what we call jumping in the pool and sharing ideas and strategies and things that we've learned along the way, and a lot of times it takes practice to not do that, because what we do is we inadvertently tell them that we think we know the answers, when in reality, as a coach, I need to pull the answers outside of them.

00:02:16.032 --> 00:02:22.853
And when you get really good at pulling out those answers, sometimes it is a mixture of what you thought, but also it elevated because the client is involved in it too.

00:02:22.853 --> 00:02:26.403
Now, this process takes time, but it also takes feedback.

00:02:26.403 --> 00:02:37.425
This is one of the things we talk a lot about in the certification is when somebody jumps in the pool, we have to call it out because it's a natural thing to do, but also, if we really want to be a powerful coach, we have to stay out of the pool.

00:02:37.425 --> 00:02:39.671
We have to practice clean thinking.

00:02:39.671 --> 00:02:48.895
So one of the biggest moments that we see inside of the certification is the moment when a coach stops trying to impress people and starts showing up, being fully present.

00:02:49.379 --> 00:02:52.911
I want to share something that one of our students shared with us recently that really hits this home.

00:02:52.911 --> 00:02:59.372
She said this week reminded me how powerful this model really is, especially when our own life throws us our own curveballs.

00:02:59.372 --> 00:03:04.391
Watching the guided session was such a great reminder that coaching isn't about having the right answers.

00:03:04.391 --> 00:03:09.396
It's about holding space clean, thinking and asking the right questions.

00:03:09.396 --> 00:03:13.592
Just knowing that and watching it has taken so much pressure off.

00:03:13.974 --> 00:03:14.576
And she's right.

00:03:14.576 --> 00:03:25.625
When you don't have to be the one that has all the answers and instead you can use your powerful skill of coaching to bring out some amazing things in others, the game just changes Not only for you to bring out some amazing things in others.

00:03:25.625 --> 00:03:27.546
The game just changes Not only for you, but for your clients too.

00:03:27.546 --> 00:03:31.270
Now, if you missed truth number four, we talked about how perfectionism can kill presence.

00:03:31.270 --> 00:03:37.455
But even when you drop the perfectionism, it's very easy to slip into performance mode, which is what we were talking about today.

00:03:37.455 --> 00:03:47.372
But in truth number six, we're going a little bit deeper and that's why a lot of coaches still aren't confident, even when they're doing the right things, and it's just because they're missing this key ingredient.

00:03:47.372 --> 00:03:49.694
And we'll see you soon in truth number six.