Nov. 20, 2025

How Great Coaches Stop Buying Into Clients’ Stories And Start Building Possibility

Send us a text What if the fastest way to move a client forward isn’t agreeing with their limits, but holding a steadier belief in their potential than they can hold for themselves? We dive into the difference between compassion and confirmation and show how a coach’s clean belief can lift a client out of a tight story and back into agency. Along the way, you’ll hear a practical, step-by-step walkthrough of our Growth Model so you can transform the common “I’m overwhelmed” spiral into momentu...

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Send us a text

What if the fastest way to move a client forward isn’t agreeing with their limits, but holding a steadier belief in their potential than they can hold for themselves? We dive into the difference between compassion and confirmation and show how a coach’s clean belief can lift a client out of a tight story and back into agency. Along the way, you’ll hear a practical, step-by-step walkthrough of our Growth Model so you can transform the common “I’m overwhelmed” spiral into momentum you can actually feel.

We start by naming the trap: when coaches buy into excuses around time, money, or capacity, they unintentionally anchor clients to the very constraints they want to escape. Then we pivot to the skill: see the person and their perspective as separate, ask “Even if this were true, how does focusing on it help?” and redirect attention toward small, testable actions that build proof. You’ll learn how triggers like a packed calendar or an endless to-do list create a perception of overload, why that emotion predicts low-quality action or freeze, and how to interrupt the loop with a micro-commitment that restores control.

Finally, we talk about real moments in the room: when belief creates enough safety for tears, breakdowns, and release. That’s not a failure—it’s a doorway. Hold possibility without minimizing pain, guide toward the next specific step, and let the client borrow your belief until they can stand in it themselves. If coaching is the art of building useful futures, this is the canvas: clear language, grounded compassion, actionable structure, and a higher mirror that invites people to rise.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a coach who needs it, and leave a quick review to help others find these tools. Your feedback shapes what we explore next.

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Chapters

00:00 - Belief Over Excuses

00:45 - Compassion Versus Confirmation

01:30 - Building The Belief Muscle

01:55 - The Growth Model Walkthrough

03:04 - Don’t Buy The Overwhelm Story

03:31 - Safety, Emotion, And Next Steps

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:06.000
Something I notice a lot, especially from new coaches, is how quickly they start to believe in their clients' excuses.

00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:11.439
So what shifts when the coach chooses to believe more in their client than they do in their excuses?

00:00:11.759 --> 00:00:16.160
So when you buy into a client's limitations, you join them in it.

00:00:16.399 --> 00:00:19.760
But when you hold belief, you invite them out of it.

00:00:19.920 --> 00:00:24.879
The moment you choose to see their potential instead, they actually start to see it too.

00:00:25.120 --> 00:00:29.440
So think about a time when you shared something hard that you are experiencing.

00:00:29.679 --> 00:00:33.840
Maybe you didn't have the time or money or the capacity.

00:00:34.079 --> 00:00:37.439
And the person you were talking to actually agreed with you.

00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:40.640
How did that actually make it harder for you to move forward?

00:00:40.880 --> 00:00:45.119
When we argue for our limitations, we actually get to keep them.

00:00:45.359 --> 00:00:49.840
Belief actually creates a higher mirror for the client to rise into.

00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:55.039
Great coaches hold possibility until the client can actually hold it themselves.

00:00:55.280 --> 00:01:01.359
That's why today's breakthrough is a client borrows your belief until they can find their own.

00:01:01.679 --> 00:01:06.239
So what do you think it really is in terms of why coaches buy into their clients' limitations?

00:01:06.480 --> 00:01:10.400
Because they actually mistake compassion for confirmation.

00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:14.159
If they don't agree with their clients, how is that going to make them feel?

00:01:14.400 --> 00:01:22.000
They tend to want to jump in the pool, like we say, because they feel the need to make them feel good in the moment.

00:01:22.319 --> 00:01:25.359
So how does belief really shift their clients' energy?

00:01:25.680 --> 00:01:30.079
Because they start exploring what could work instead of defending what can't.

00:01:30.319 --> 00:01:34.719
So if a coach is just getting started, how can they really start to build this belief muscle?

00:01:35.040 --> 00:01:42.079
So focusing on practicing seeing the person and their perspective rather than focusing on what they think is their problem.

00:01:42.319 --> 00:01:45.439
So I want to walk you through a quick example of this, just so that people can see.

00:01:45.599 --> 00:01:48.560
Let's say you have this thought and it's I'm overwhelmed.

00:01:48.719 --> 00:01:52.719
Now we have this process that we guide people through inside of the certification called the growth model.

00:01:52.959 --> 00:01:56.799
And I'm going to go through it really quick so you can see how this could actually show up in your life.

00:01:56.879 --> 00:02:02.959
Because one of the questions we like to ask is, even if this were true, how would focusing on that actually help you?

00:02:03.200 --> 00:02:05.439
And the truth is, it just helps you play small.

00:02:05.599 --> 00:02:08.479
So I want you to think about the last time you felt overwhelmed.

00:02:08.639 --> 00:02:09.520
What was going on?

00:02:09.759 --> 00:02:11.840
Did you pick up your phone and look at your calendar?

00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:13.439
Were you looking at your to-do list?

00:02:13.599 --> 00:02:15.680
Were you thinking about all the things you had to do today?

00:02:15.919 --> 00:02:23.520
Whatever that trigger was, it brought up this thought inside of you, which we term as a perspective, that man, I'm just so overwhelmed.

00:02:23.680 --> 00:02:28.719
Now, if you go back to that moment and you think about how that made you feel, there's going to be one word that's going to stick out.

00:02:28.879 --> 00:02:30.159
Maybe you'd feel frustrated.

00:02:30.319 --> 00:02:31.520
Maybe it's overloaded.

00:02:31.680 --> 00:02:32.719
Maybe it's angry.

00:02:32.879 --> 00:02:34.080
Maybe it's unworthy.

00:02:34.240 --> 00:02:35.919
So let's say you felt overloaded.

00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:41.039
Then we want to see in that moment, what did you do when you felt overloaded?

00:02:41.199 --> 00:02:45.759
Now, a lot of times when we feel overwhelmed and we go through this process, you actually do nothing.

00:02:45.919 --> 00:02:52.719
Or you do something, but it's such a negative energy, just checking the box, that it actually probably would have been better if you had done nothing at all.

00:02:52.879 --> 00:03:04.400
And when you think about what you're creating that situation, you're just creating more overwhelm because more than likely you're overthinking so much that you're getting yourself stuck in your head and you're not showing up and taking any action at all.

00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:09.280
So the next time a client tells you they're overwhelmed, don't buy into their story.

00:03:09.439 --> 00:03:14.719
It's just the perspective they're focusing on that actually is creating more of that situation for them.

00:03:14.960 --> 00:03:18.400
That's why we lean into the skills so heavily inside of our certification.

00:03:18.560 --> 00:03:24.400
So that people have a framework to use to help guide people through some of these stories and perspectives they tell themselves.

00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:29.280
But more importantly, so you don't buy into their limitations because they aren't true.

00:03:29.439 --> 00:03:31.680
It's just currently what they decided to focus on.

00:03:31.919 --> 00:03:38.000
Now, when you believe in someone more than they believe in their story, you create safety for vulnerability.

00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:45.199
And sometimes that safety leads to some pretty heavy emotion, including tears, breakdowns, and releases.

00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:48.080
So that's the next breakthrough that we need to talk about.

00:03:48.240 --> 00:03:57.199
Because when that happens, you have the greatest opportunity to lean in and help your claim transform if you follow our strategy in breakthrough number seven.

00:03:57.360 --> 00:04:00.879
If you're ready to do that with us, we'll see you in the next episode.