Nov. 27, 2025

From Perfect Plans To Real Growth In Coaching

Send us a text Perfection looks safe on paper, but it can choke the life out of a coaching session. We crack open the myth that tighter control leads to better outcomes and show how the real breakthroughs happen when you loosen your grip. From the first minute, we explore why coaching works best as a living conversation rather than a tightly scripted performance, and how presence—not polish—creates the conditions for honest insight and sustainable change. You’ll hear a revealing story of a c...

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Send us a text

Perfection looks safe on paper, but it can choke the life out of a coaching session. We crack open the myth that tighter control leads to better outcomes and show how the real breakthroughs happen when you loosen your grip. From the first minute, we explore why coaching works best as a living conversation rather than a tightly scripted performance, and how presence—not polish—creates the conditions for honest insight and sustainable change.

You’ll hear a revealing story of a client focused on business growth who couldn’t gain traction until we uncovered a hidden belief: success at work meant failure at home. That single narrative quietly blocked every tactic. By pivoting from strategy to the root cause, then reframing success as both-and, momentum returned. We walk through practical ways to hold structure loosely: set a clear intent, anchor to three essential questions, and stay ready to follow the energy when the client’s words or body language point somewhere deeper.

We also talk about why coaches cling to plans—fear of failure, the comfort of certainty—and how that habit erodes presence. Instead, try guided spontaneity: a flexible map, permission to change course mid-session, and a closing debrief that captures insights. When clients feel safe to co-lead, authenticity increases and the real answers surface faster. If you’ve ever felt a session slide off your outline, consider that it may be sliding toward truth. Subscribe, share this with a coach who needs the nudge, and leave a review telling us the last time you chose presence over perfection.

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Chapters

00:00 - When Perfection Falls Apart

00:12 - Coaching As Conversation Not Script

00:33 - Expectation, Control, And Presence

00:56 - Why Coaches Cling To Plans

01:14 - Structure Held Loosely

01:45 - Client Story: Business Vs Relationships

02:55 - Pivoting To Root Beliefs

03:06 - Balancing Spontaneity And Structure

03:28 - Finding Your Voice And Differentiation

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:04.080
So every coach will inevitably have a session that doesn't go right.

00:00:04.320 --> 00:00:08.720
So what do you think changes when the coach stops trying to do everything perfect?

00:00:09.039 --> 00:00:12.480
Because coaching really isn't a script, it's a conversation.

00:00:12.720 --> 00:00:17.839
The moment you let go of forcing it to go right, you open space for it to go real.

00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:19.679
And that's where growth happens.

00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:22.399
Think of a time when things just didn't go right.

00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:26.640
But looking back, they actually went exactly how you needed them to go.

00:00:26.879 --> 00:00:29.600
So what does that tell you about our expectations?

00:00:29.839 --> 00:00:33.520
How could you use the situation for you instead of against you?

00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:37.920
So trying to control a session will actually kill your presence.

00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:40.719
Being flexible feels more insight.

00:00:40.960 --> 00:00:46.320
Sessions usually unfold the way that they need to go, not how you actually planned it.

00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:48.079
This is where growth lives.

00:00:48.240 --> 00:00:50.000
It lives in imperfection.

00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:56.079
And that's why today's quote is growth doesn't follow your outline, it follows truth.

00:00:56.320 --> 00:00:59.200
So why do you think coaches cling to plans?

00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:03.280
They do it for safety because they're so afraid of failure.

00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:08.480
They want everything to go perfect, but in reality, that perspective isn't helping them.

00:01:08.640 --> 00:01:11.359
It doesn't help you, and it doesn't help your clients.

00:01:11.680 --> 00:01:14.239
So what do you see happens when they release that?

00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:19.040
The client actually leads a session and authenticity increases.

00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:26.480
You actually can get to the real answers because when a client feels free to share, they actually gain more clarity.

00:01:26.719 --> 00:01:31.680
So I know this doesn't mean you never prepare, but how can you prepare without overcontrolling?

00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:32.560
Simple.

00:01:32.719 --> 00:01:35.760
You still have a structure, but you hold it loosely.

00:01:35.920 --> 00:01:38.719
Let the session go the way that it needs to go.

00:01:38.879 --> 00:01:45.599
Even if you have a plan, you can still have a really powerful session if you're still flexible about it.

00:01:45.840 --> 00:01:49.200
So I want to share an example of this so you can see it in action.

00:01:49.359 --> 00:01:55.599
Because sometimes clients actually try to control the session and you find out later it's actually a version of self-sabotage.

00:01:55.760 --> 00:01:57.040
So I've had this happen a lot.

00:01:57.200 --> 00:02:00.319
Recently, I was having a conversation with somebody who wanted to grow their business.

00:02:00.480 --> 00:02:08.879
And so I had an idea of what I could ask them to help them continue to grow it in a way that didn't require them to take on any more actions, but for them to get better results.

00:02:09.120 --> 00:02:14.400
However, after a few sessions, I noticed that it wasn't necessarily business that they needed the most help in.

00:02:14.560 --> 00:02:16.400
It was actually their relationships.

00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:20.719
After a few conversations, we got to the root of the belief that was actually holding them back.

00:02:20.800 --> 00:02:25.280
And the belief was this business is actually taking me further away from my family.

00:02:25.439 --> 00:02:28.960
So when it was business time, they actually wouldn't work their business.

00:02:29.120 --> 00:02:36.639
They stopped taking the actions they needed to take because in reality they had a belief that in order to succeed in business, they had to fail with their relationships.

00:02:36.800 --> 00:02:40.560
And that is not the truth, but it's what my clients currently believed.

00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:43.599
And this might actually be something that you're dealing with right now, too.

00:02:43.759 --> 00:02:55.280
Is you're so focused on one area that you steer your conversations in that area when in fact, if you were a little bit more open about the direction for you to go, you might actually find what's really holding you back.

00:02:55.439 --> 00:03:06.639
This is what great coaches do is yes, you might come to them for one situation, but if they see that something else is actually holding you back, they're willing to pivot and adjust because that is truly what they need.

00:03:06.800 --> 00:03:13.360
Now, inside of our certification, we talk a lot about how to balance this idea of being spontaneous, but also having structure.

00:03:13.520 --> 00:03:16.080
Because there really is a best place there somewhere in the middle.

00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:23.919
And then once you figure that out, just trusting the process and really remembering to focus on your intuition is truly going to help your client get the results they want.

00:03:24.080 --> 00:03:27.919
Because remember, if they knew what they needed, they would have already achieved it.

00:03:28.080 --> 00:03:32.960
So today we talked about overcoming the idea of forcing the sessions to get them perfect.

00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:38.319
And when you stop doing that, you start showing up as your real self, but so does your client.

00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:41.120
And that's when another powerful moment happens.

00:03:41.280 --> 00:03:44.240
When you finally find your voice.

00:03:44.560 --> 00:03:53.840
This is how you separate yourself from all the other coaches and all the other people who you may think do the same thing as you, but who absolutely don't.

00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:56.800
We'll share what we mean in breakthrough number nine.