Nov. 13, 2025

Curiosity Over Assumption: How Questions Unlock Better Coaching And Relationships

Send us a text One thoughtful question can flip a tense moment into a turning point. We dig into how genuine curiosity reduces judgment and defensiveness, invites deeper honesty and helps both coach and client see beyond the first story the brain serves up. Instead of pushing for quick certainty, we practice slowing down the mind’s urge to fill gaps and we show how that pause creates better choices, cleaner relationships and measurable progress. We break down the science and the practice: wh...

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Send us a text

One thoughtful question can flip a tense moment into a turning point. We dig into how genuine curiosity reduces judgment and defensiveness, invites deeper honesty and helps both coach and client see beyond the first story the brain serves up. Instead of pushing for quick certainty, we practice slowing down the mind’s urge to fill gaps and we show how that pause creates better choices, cleaner relationships and measurable progress.

We break down the science and the practice: why assumptions feel soothing but sabotage growth, how curiosity moves thinking from autopilot to awareness, and what happens to a client’s nervous system when they feel explored rather than evaluated. You’ll hear a real coaching moment where a partner’s instinct to fix was replaced with a simple, clarifying question—“What do you need from me right now?”—and how that reframed support transformed the dynamic. We also share practical prompts that keep sessions focused and human, plus a method for noticing the quiet signals in tone, pauses and detours that reveal what matters most.

This conversation is for coaches, leaders and anyone who wants better conversations at home and at work. You’ll leave with a toolkit of short, powerful questions, a mindset for hearing what isn’t said and a way to model curiosity so clients mirror it in their own lives. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who loves great questions and leave a quick review so more curious people can find us.

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Chapters

00:00 - The Power Of One Question

00:32 - Curiosity As Emotional Antidote

01:11 - From Assumptions To Open Doors

02:10 - Modeling Curiosity For Clients

02:47 - A Coaching Example On Support

03:36 - Training Curiosity And Next Steps

04:06 - Teaser: Hearing What’s Unsaid

Transcript
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There's this moment when a coach asks one curious question and suddenly the client sees everything differently.

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What makes curiosity so powerful?

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Curiosity is the antidote to so many negative emotions, like judgment, shame, anger.

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Now, by negative, I don't necessarily mean bad.

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Life is 50-50.

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You're going to experience 50% of positive emotions and 50% of negative emotions.

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Your job is just to make sure that you don't make that equation worse by not taking the opportunity to be more genuinely curious.

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This is one of those breakthroughs that not only is going to help your client, but it's actually going to help you too.

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Because when you think about how you feel when you become curious, it's no longer about you and it's always about your client.

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You don't have to wonder what question to ask next.

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A genuinely curious person is just going to ask the next right question.

00:00:51.039 --> 00:00:52.079
So think about this.

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What would your life look like if instead of getting angry when something happens, you got curious as to why that thing happened in the first place?

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Or even how could that make total sense to the person who said that?

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It doesn't mean you agree with it.

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It just means you're curious to get to the root of what is actually going on.

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You're not making any assumptions.

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And in that moment, when you stay genuinely curious, it not only changes the way that you show up, but how your client shows up too.

00:01:19.120 --> 00:01:22.239
That's why today's quote is assuming closes doors.

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Curiosity opens them.

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Why do coaches assume before they realize it?

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Our brains want quick certainty.

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And a lot of times what it does is it just goes down the path of least resistance.

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And so if you're the type of person who gets angry a lot, you're naturally going to go down there automatically.

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That's just how your subconscious mind works.

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But when you bring it to the conscious side, now you have the ability of being able to rewrite the way that you typically respond.

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Our brain also wants to fill in the gaps.

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It does this because it wants these things to make sense for them to have meaning.

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It's also one of the reasons when you watch a show and they don't tell you all the details and wait for you to watch the next one, why you fill the pull to actually continue watching the series when it comes up again?

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Because you actually want to know what happens.

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And sometimes our brain just creates it.

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And I find that most of the time, what it comes up with is not the actual truth.

00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:13.759
What do you think happens in the client when curiosity shows up?

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They feel invited to explore, not to defend.

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You basically are taking the pressure off of them.

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Now, one thing we've also seen is once you take that pressure off your client, they're actually more likely to get curious in their own situation and in their own life because of what you taught them by just modeling the behavior as their coach.

00:02:31.039 --> 00:02:40.080
So I want you to think about the last time you were emotionally charged, whether it's something that happened, something that someone said, but then somebody asked you a curiosity-based question.

00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:41.599
How did that feel to you?

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How did you respond?

00:02:43.039 --> 00:02:46.960
Now I want to share an example of when this came up last week during our certification.

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One of our coaches really cares about his significant other and always wants to try and help her.

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The only thing is when she presents something to him, you see, he tends to jump into trying to fix it or getting frustrated or not knowing what to say.

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Then he finds out later that all she wanted to do was just have a conversation so she can vent and process it.

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Now, even while we were going through this process and somebody was coaching him, I could see that some of that energy was still there.

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But then I stopped him and I asked a powerful question.

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I said, What would have happened if you had stopped in that moment and just asked your wife what she really needed and how best you can support her in that moment?

00:03:22.960 --> 00:03:24.960
And he stopped and he paused.

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And you could see how it transformed this inner dialogue that he had.

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Because he didn't need to have all the answers for her.

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He just needed to show up as the best version of himself in a way that she needed him to show up then.

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And I've always found that in those cases, it's always best to go to the source and just ask them, get curious.

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Now, in our certification, we teach coaches how to master curiosity so that you don't have to try and do it.

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It's just a natural part of how you communicate.

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It's what helps keep the communication, the results, and the transformation to the next level.

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Now, the last breakthrough, we talked about how actually trying to fix your client might actually backfire for you.

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If you didn't check that out, definitely go back and watch that.

00:04:04.960 --> 00:04:09.120
Today, we talked about how curiosity can help you see beyond words.

00:04:09.280 --> 00:04:14.560
But sometimes what's most important isn't what your client says, it's what they don't.

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And in breakthrough number five, we're gonna help you identify the moments when things are not being said and how bringing that up changes everything.