Oct. 9, 2025

Client First: Coaching That Centers the Client’s Reality

Send us a text Ever notice how a well-meant “Have you tried this?” can quietly take over a coaching session? We dig into the subtle ways coaches insert their own story—book lists, tool stacks, personal routines—and how that shift pulls focus away from the client’s reality. By unpacking the difference between coaching and mentoring, we show how to protect agency, keep the space clean, and help clients discover answers they actually believe in. We walk through practical language that keeps cur...

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Send us a text

Ever notice how a well-meant “Have you tried this?” can quietly take over a coaching session? We dig into the subtle ways coaches insert their own story—book lists, tool stacks, personal routines—and how that shift pulls focus away from the client’s reality. By unpacking the difference between coaching and mentoring, we show how to protect agency, keep the space clean, and help clients discover answers they actually believe in.

We walk through practical language that keeps curiosity in the driver’s seat: reflections that mirror the client’s words, questions that reveal what’s really going on, and clean transitions for when you do want to offer ideas. You’ll hear a live-style example where the presenting question wasn’t the real problem, and how a few targeted prompts uncovered the true obstacle—something generic advice would have missed. The result isn’t just insight; it’s a plan the client owns, which means stronger buy-in and real follow-through.

For coaches building their craft, this conversation doubles as a playbook: avoid subtle self-insertion, set explicit mentoring boundaries (“this may or may not fit”), and practice staying neutral long enough for clarity to emerge. We share why certification drills this skill relentlessly and how mastering it boosts confidence and client results. If you’re ready to talk less, listen better, and create sessions where clients feel fully seen and empowered, this one will tighten your process and sharpen your presence.

Subscribe for more client-centered coaching tools, share this with a coach who over-advises, and leave a quick review to tell us which question you’ll try next.

Eastern for an honest, behind-the-scenes look at the lessons we’ve learned by watching real coaches grow? Visit us at:

https://www.modernleadership.us/mastery



Chapters

00:00 - Centering The Client’s Reality

00:26 - Curiosity Over Advice

00:42 - Quote: The Client’s Reality Matters

00:47 - Subtle Ways Coaches Insert Themselves

01:06 - Mentoring With Clear Boundaries

01:25 - Outcomes When Clients Stay Centered

01:39 - Example: Finding The Real Problem

02:05 - Practice, Confidence, And Results

02:16 - Callback To Curiosity And Tease Next

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:05.919
When coaches are just starting, we see them bring their own stories and perspectives into a session.

00:00:06.080 --> 00:00:07.360
What happens when they do that?

00:00:07.599 --> 00:00:11.199
It shifts the focus away from the client to the coach's reality.

00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:15.839
And that can unintentionally direct the client away from discovering their own truth.

00:00:16.079 --> 00:00:20.960
Coaching is not a way of you describing what you would do or should do in a situation.

00:00:21.120 --> 00:00:26.480
You really want the focus to be your client's perspective and be neutral when you have a conversation around it.

00:00:26.559 --> 00:00:32.159
It's about remaining curious and asking questions to find out what is really going on with your client.

00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:42.799
The most powerful sessions is when you can keep your perspectives out of it, but through asking questions, you can get them to see things differently, almost as if they never thought that that was even possible.

00:00:42.960 --> 00:00:47.759
That's why today's quote is your client's reality is the one that matters most in the session.

00:00:47.920 --> 00:00:52.320
What are some subtle ways that coaches accidentally insert their story?

00:00:52.560 --> 00:00:54.960
They'll say things like, Have you ever tried this?

00:00:55.119 --> 00:00:56.479
What journal are you using?

00:00:56.640 --> 00:00:57.759
What book are you reading?

00:00:57.920 --> 00:00:59.439
What podcast are you listening to?

00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:06.000
And what they're accidentally doing is they're giving those other things too much power as opposed to helping their clients find their own answers.

00:01:06.239 --> 00:01:09.280
How can a coach actually catch themselves when this happens?

00:01:09.599 --> 00:01:12.719
Really, we always have to make sure that we make it about the client.

00:01:12.959 --> 00:01:23.519
But in situations where you do want to mentor, you just want to tell them this may or may not work for you, but based off of what has happened for me or what I've helped my clients with, here's some different ideas.

00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:25.280
Does any of these resonate with you?

00:01:25.599 --> 00:01:30.239
So, what changes when the client stays in the center of the session?

00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:38.879
They not only feel fully empowered when they're leaving the session, but they actually have a plan that they can implement and take action on, especially when they have their own buy-in into it.

00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:42.079
Now I want to give you an example because this actually happens all the time.

00:01:42.239 --> 00:01:50.319
And that is a client will actually ask a question during one of our coaching sessions, and immediately I can see that people have answers they want to give them.

00:01:50.560 --> 00:01:59.840
But when I jump in and I give them an example of coaching, we actually find out that there was a different problem they were struggling with that didn't have anything to do with the first thing that they talked about.

00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:05.280
And that wouldn't have been possible if we just started to jump in and give people ideas or opinions or actions to take.

00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:10.319
This is why we spend so much time practicing in the certification to make sure that coaches get this right.

00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:16.080
Because once you do, not only does your confidence go up, but your client starts getting even better results.

00:02:16.240 --> 00:02:19.599
Now, if you missed episode number three, definitely go back and listen.

00:02:19.759 --> 00:02:22.879
We talked about why it's all about staying curious.

00:02:23.039 --> 00:02:31.280
And when you take yourself out of your client's story like we talked about today, you actually create some space for our next lesson, which is how you can help your clients even more.

00:02:31.439 --> 00:02:36.400
And this time, it doesn't include coaching, asking questions, or even talking.

00:02:36.560 --> 00:02:39.360
We'll cover that in episode number five.